curmudgeon report

Decided to start blogging again

2011-11-29T07:14:00.000-08:00

I've decided to start blogging again. Writing down my thoughts seems to help me understand me a little better. I will be publishing my second book of poetry this winter. I have the book pretty much assembeled at this time and will finish it before Christmas hopefully

suicide and the holidays

2010-12-08T05:38:00.000-08:00

It has been 14 years since my son Tommy killed himself on Thanksgiving Eve, His death still affects our family. We have accepted the fact that he did what he did and we live with it. SUICIDE IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT YOU CAN DO TO YOUR FAMILY AND LOVED ONES!!!. They all think, after the fact, that they should have seen it coming. They take responibility for the death. Tv shows the happy family gathered together with friends and everybody is happy. Unfortunately this is not reality. The holidays can be a real downer for folks who don't have a job or maybe don't have any friends or family. Perhaps they can't afford to celebrate like the folks on tv do. Remember this: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Watch your friends and family closely this holiday season. If the signs seem to be that someone is really down, ask them if they have had thoughts of harming themselves and take action if they say yes.

Annual Christmass Letter

2010-11-19T13:33:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone, It’s time for the ol’ Christmas letter. You will notice that you haven’t received one from us for five years and that is because of our antiquated prison system! They would not let me have sharp objects while in solitary confinement. Therefore, no pen! Please write to your congressmen regarding this travesty. Anyway, I am out now, which coinsided with Pat’s release from drug rehab. We didn’t have a place to live for a while, but things are great now. I was stealing some veggies from a garden near the old burned out house that we were sleeping in when I noticed an old school bus that had been parked in the woods. Vines, wasps, and hornets had overtaken it, but you know how Pat is about things like that. Why bless her heart, she had that placed cleaned up in no time. We are having trouble getting an address through the post office though. The wasps and hornets proved to be a problem, but we found that four weeks without a bath took care of them. They just left one day. I believe that it was the same day that the skunks moved out from under the old bus too. Our son Wilbur has his military career on track . We are so proud of the boy. He is serving overseas with a group called the Taliban. I am not sure if that is part of the air force, army,, navy or marines He just got promoted to head Mustafa what ever that is. He has been trying to get his sister Juanita involved which surprises me because they never got along. He says that he has an entry level position for her and that she would start off as a martyr. Right now Juanita is working in Nevada. She always has loved animals and told us recently that she is working in a cat house out there. We are so proud. We never thought that our two kids would amount to much, but we sure were wrong!! Anyway! Life couldn’t be better! Pat thinks that she has a job at Mickey D’s and I just got told that I have a good chance of getting that job working for that portable outhouse company. When I told them that I didn’t have a sense of smell they were really interested in me. Well! I hate to run, but I can see flashing blue lights coming through the woods. They may have gotten Pat’s picture at Food Lion the other day when she was stealing two melons by putting them under her sweater. I told her that they didn’t look real!! I said “Good God Pat!! At least get two that are the same size!! Will let you know if we get an address.

Merry> Christmas,>>> copyright Thomas Neiger> Tom and Pat>>>
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burying a dog

2010-11-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

My daughter called last not to tell me that the family's beloved dog had died. Louie was a big jolly old boxer. He was a very congenial old gentleman. I remembered what it is like to lose a dog. Dogs in our family are more than just pets. They are family members. I wrote the following piece several years ago after my dog and faithful companion had to be put down.

Burying a dog

I stood inside the garden shed holding the blanket wrapped lifeless form that had been my faithful dog.
His body was still limp from the recent injection
that stilled it.
I wanted no one to share my grief.
I sobbed as I held him to me ,
not wanting to do what had to be done.
Eventually; Gaining some emotional control,
I laid the blanket on the floor,
and searched for the shovel that was hung
with the other tools on the wall of the shed,
but could not distinguish it through my tears.
I wiped my eyes once again on my shirt sleeves
but that hardly slowed the flow. .
I selected the shovel from the assortment of tools
and took a deep breath praying that I could complete this final act that would end our physical relationship forever.
I left the shed; walked a very few steps,
and put the shovel to the earth. I worked with a fever until the hole was deep and wide enough to contain him.
Returning to the shed I picked up the bundle that had been my
loving companion and started out the door
only to return, sobbing once more , to the privacy of the shed.
Again I sought control ,and when gathered ,left the shed and
placed the bundle in the hole.
I retrieved his beloved tennis ball from the shed floor
and gently placed it with him.
Breathing deeply I shoveled the dirt in the hole
and padded it down gently.
Returning to the shed I replaced the shovel
and went up the path hoping that I could
retain emotional control until the sanctuary,
of the house, had been gained.

Tom Neiger
2005 copyright

A poem from my recently published book 0f poetry

2010-11-13T12:35:00.001-08:00

The Mechanization of Gathering
Leaves

The mechanization of gathering leaves
has made this a choir of considerable ease.
In days gone by when leaves fluttered down
people would gather them all over town
and would talk to their neighbors.
“What a beautiful day!”
as they leaned on their rakes
you might hear them say.
But now the motors blow with a roar
the leaves away from each front door.
“Gotta be finished by quarter of two.
Can’t miss the kickoff today. Can you?”
Autumnal splendor is wasted on these
since the mechanization of gathering leaves.

copyright Thomas Neiger

a short story

2010-11-12T05:30:00.000-08:00

You are probably wondering why I asked you to come here alone today I said to my daughter Ruthie from my hospital bed. The fact that you and I have always been at odds with each other is no secret to anyone who knows us. I have tried hard and I know that you to have tried but for some reason it just never worked. Maybe we are to much alike you and I, maybe we are both just to damned independent. Maybe it had something to do with the booze that was so much a part of both of our lives for so long. Anyway, the doc says that I have another month or so before the pain gets bad enough that I will have to be on some pretty strong stuff and I might not be to coherent then. I wanted to talk now. I wanted to share something with you . Something that happened to me a long time ago. Something dark that no one else in the world knows about. The story starts way back when I was a skinny pubescent twelve year old. There is a picture somewhere that was taken of me at that time standing in my brief bathing suit, brush cut hair, hands on hips smiling at the camera. My chest wasn’t any wider than my hips and my ribs were showing through. Anyways Grandpa, grandma, aunt sue and I were visiting a friend of your grandma’s in Boyne City, Michigan. They had a beautiful old restored home near Lake Charlivoix. Another family was visiting that week also and they had a daughter about the same age as me. She was a really nice friendly girl and we got along well together. About the third day that we were there she introduced me to a friend of hers named Linda Hampton. I was smitten immediately. I can still see Linda today and it has been fifty one years. I remember her smile and her blonde hair. She had blue eyes and a very cute shape. Her laughter was musical. She had just come back from swimming with her dog ,a collie named Rex. I found out the next day that Linda’s mother made her take Rex when ever she went swimming because he watched her carefully and would run in and drag her from the water if she put her head under. We talked awhile and then went to the ice cream shop that was a couple of blocks from the house. I completely forgot that the other girl whose name I can’t remember was even with us that’s how smitten I was. I had my first case of puppy love and it was a bad case too. We hung out together for the next two days. I felt that she had the same feelings for me. Neither one of us said anything to each other about these feelings. I said goodbye to her Sunday afternoon and walked back to the house where we were staying with the other girl who had been part of the threesome during those days. I was beside myself. I knew that I would probably never see Linda again. I actually hurt in my heart. I had to see her one more time so I walked through the now rainy night to her house and rang the bell. She appeared and came out on the porch. My heart was racing. I told her how I felt. She looked into my eyes and told me that she felt the same way. I asked her if I could kiss her goodbye and she nodded her head. I leaned forward and kissed her on her mouth. I couldn’t believe how wonderful she smelled and tasted. It was my first kiss and it was unbelievable. I was so overjoyed that I was almost crazy. I couldn’t sleep all night . The next morning we left at 6:00. This was way before I-75 was constructed and it would take all day for us to get home. I was a mess the whole trip. I didn’t want my family to know of my feelings because they would tease me unmercifully. I suffered in silence. The morning of the next day I wrote her a letter and told her how much I missed her. A week later I got a letter from her, and she told me how much she missed me and how she would do anything to see me again. That sealed it. I began planning a trip to Boyne City. I would hitchhike there. I began getting things together. I had fifteen dollars saved up. I had a small back pack and filled it with a change of clothes and other things that I needed and hid it in the garage. I would tell my mother that my friend Curt had asked me to spend the night which was something that we did often and then would hit the road. I should be a full day out of town before they knew anything. I realized that I would be in big trouble, probably the biggest of my entire life, but it would be worth it to see her again. Everything went according to plan. The last thing that I did before leaving for Curt’s house was to stick a switchblade knife in my pocket. My uncle Ed had lost it and I had found it near the cot where he sometimes slept.. Uncle Ed was my dad‘s brother and was a bar tender at the local honky tonk. He was a drunk and figured that he must have lost the knife in the taxi that brought him to our house one night when he was all lit up. I never thought at the time that the knife would be the reason that I am here today. I went out to the garage, got my pack, and headed for the highway. I had a map that I had studied and knew the route. I would tell each driver that I was only going to the next town to see my grandma so that they wouldn’t wonder why a boy as young as me was hitchhiking long distances. The last thing I wanted was for the someone to report me to the police as a possible runaway. The trip would normally take about six hours. I had done a little hitchhiking and knew that I would be on the road longer than that. It took me eight rides and twelve hours to get within twenty miles of Boyne City. I got dropped off at a cross road out in the country and went in to the small restaurant to get a sandwich and a coke. I sat at the counter and placed my pack on the floor in front of me. A fairly large man sat down beside me as I was eating and ordered coffee. He asked me where I was going and I told him that I was on my way to see my grandma in Boyne City and was hitchhiking. He said That his name was Bob Robertson and that he was going to Boyne and would be glad to give me a ride. Looking back I find that there was nothing abnormal about this man’s appearance at all. His brown hair was in a brush cut, and he had a small mustache and I guess that he was probably my dad’s age about forty. He was friendly and smiled a lot. We left the restaurant just as it was getting dark and got into his green 57 Olds two door. I tossed my pack on the floor in front of me and sat back. He said that he was on his way home from a business trip and that he lived in Boyne. His wife and kids would be waiting up. We small talked for the next few miles and then he told me that he had to turn off down a side road. He needed to drop a package off at his friends house and that It wouldn’t take to long. I said okay and he turned down one of northern Michigan’ famous sand roads. We had gone about a mile when he reached over and laid his hand on my knee. He asked me if I wanted to have a little fun as he slid his hand up toward my crotch. The look on his face suggested that the fun would be all his. I told him to stop touching me and to please turn the car around. “Okay.” he said “no hard feelings.” and he slowed as if to make the turn. When the car had almost stopped he grabbed me, called me a dumb little bastard and said that We were going to have a little fun. I was terrified, and tried to open the door but he pulled me to him. I don’t know how I thought of what I did next but as he pulled me to him instead of resisting I leaned toward him and bit down on his nose with all my strength. He screamed and both of his hands flew to his face. I pulled the door handle and the door opened. I felt him grab at my shirt as I fled the car. He was screaming obscenities. It was pitch dark as I fled into the bushes. I could hear him behind me. He was coming fast and screaming that he would kill me. I had no doubt that he would too. He was certainly big enough to do it. I dove into some tall grasses and tried not to breathe but my heart was racing and screaming for oxygen. I knew that he would have to hear me breathing. The switchblade! Get the switchblade I thought and I got it from my pants. I snapped it open and laid as still as I could. He was near me. He had a flashlight! Dam! The beam of the light was swinging back and forth. “I’ll find you you little prick!” he said. And then the light flashed on me then off me and then immediately back on me. “There you are you little bastard! You’re a dead son of a bitch boy!” I hid the knife in my hand. He reached in and grabbed me as I started to run and pulled me to him. Blood was all over his face. He let go with one hand and reared back to slap me when I shoved the knife into his stomach with all of my strength. He screamed and let me go. I grabbed my pack and ran into the darkness. This time there was no flashlight following me and no screaming either. I ran for awhile the brush tearing at me as I tripped again and again until I could run no more. The moon was out now and I could see a little, enough to see where I was going if I walked. I knew that I was safe now, and that he wouldn’t be coming after me, but I was scared, and lost. Thoughts of what would happen to me if I was found worried me almost sick. I sat down and leaned against a tree, and decided that I would spend the night there. I spent a fitful night swatting mosquitos and dozing off now and then. Finally exhaustion got me and I slept for several hours. I awoke the next morning and looked at my watch. It was 7:00. The sun was shining and there was nothing in nature that indicated that it was anything more than just another beautiful summer day. I hurt all over, and had scratches on my face and hands. I looked at my clothes and found that my shirt and pants had blood on them. I knew that I would have to change into the other clothes that were in my pack but I wanted to get cleaned up first. I walked east toward the sun. I figured that I wouldn’t be walking in circles if I did that. A half hour later I came to a stream and washed and changed clothes. I can still feel the cold that was in that water as I washed my face and arms. I dug a hole with a stick and buried the knife and bloody clothes. I walked east for another hour and then heard some traffic. Finally a road appeared and there was a sign that said , six miles to Boyne City. I couldn’t go there now. I needed to get back home. Linda was not as important as she had been a few hours ago. A black 54 Buick picked me up. The radio was playing some Hank Williams. The news came on after a few minutes and the newscaster was talking about the murder on route 614. They had found John Bauer one of the local guys dead in the woods. His wife said that he had no enemies and couldn’t understand who would have done this horrible thing. John was a deacon in the First Baptist Church. It hadn’t been robbery as his wallet and money were in his pocket. He had been stabbed in the abdomen and also had sustained severe wounds to his nose. There were no suspects and the police wanted anyone with any information to call the office. I was sick to my stomach. I had killed a man. I wanted to throw up. I had done what I had to do to stay alive but that didn’t make it easier. Eleven hours later, after many rides, I was back at my house. My parents were frantic. They had called Curt when I hadn’t come home and found that I hadn’t been there at all. I told them that I had run away but had changed my mind. I lied and said that It was because they wouldn’t buy me the Cushman Eagle motor scooter that I had coveted. Two of my friends had them and they knew that I had wanted one also and wouldn’t buy me one. They were to dangerous they said. I said that I realized that I had been wrong and was very sorry. I cried hard for a long time. And I wasn’t faking it either. It’s just that it wasn’t for the same reason that I had told them. Linda faded into the past. I discovered alcohol shortly after that and later marajuana. They helped to quiet the terrible nightmares. I got hooked. Eventually I got help with my addictions and have recovered, however it took many years. I went back to Boyne with my folks one more time when I was a high school senior. I was wearing my varsity jacket and went to Linda’s house. There were three high school girls sitting on her front porch. None of them looked like the Linda I still remembered. I asked if she was home and one of the girls said that she had just left with her boyfriend. I asked them to tell her that Tom Reynolds had been there to see her. They said that they would tell her. I never went back again. The woman who owned the house where we had stayed died soon after and the house was sold. I never told anyone until now what happened that night. And am not really sure why I am telling you now. I guess maybe that it is because I want to leave you with something that nobody else has. Something just for you.

copyright Thomas Neiger

Mrs. Christmas

2010-11-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving dinner is over,
and all of the table is clear.
My wife sits down in the rocker
And says that Christmas is near

She has a glint in her eye.
and I know why it is there.
She’s goes crazy with Christmas.
It happens this time every year.

Attic stair hinges get red hot.
She’s up there nine times a day.
Dishes come down from the attic.
The others will get put away.

Boxes of stuff in the kitchen!
Boxes of stuff in the hall!
She puts the tree together,
and decorates each and all.

I try to help but know better.
The best thing that I can do,
is to hide myself in the closet
until Mrs. Christmas is through!

I hang lights on the house front.
I want to hang them my way.
I start to voice an opinion
but it’s wise just to do it her way.

The dog stays in the distance.
He knows well not to come near.
Last year he stuck his nose in,
and a bell got stuffed up his rear.

He made a run for the back door,
but before he got the whole way,
He had lights hung around him…..
He was gone the rest of the day.

Soon to the mall she’ll be heading.
A shopping list stuffed in her purse.
She ’ll expect me to go also,
And fussing could make things worse

I will carry and walk behind her.
I will try hard not to complain.
My knees and ankles will hurt me.
I will quietly withstand the pain

I know well not to whine loudly
while following close behind
I know that Ol’ Mrs. Christmas
is about to go out of her mind.

What to get for young Carly?
Will Tatum like this new book?
Will Tyler like a baseball bat?……
She gets a dazed kind of look.

Home again to the kitchen.
Cookies and more she will bake.
She’ll tell me how her back hurts
and how her ankles do ache

But there is no time to stop now.
Many more things must be done.
She will be crazy til Christmas……
Ain’t we havin’ some fun?

I’m glad I’m a man at Christmas
I stand and I watch all amazed
I know that I couldn’t do Christmas
It takes a good woman ….always!

© Jan 2, 07 Tom Neiger

Newly elected politicians to work for American people

2010-11-03T17:47:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to the news tonight. The newly elected demagogues have been having their say. I have heard politician after politician talk about doing what the American people want. I have heard this, “Work of the American people.” So many times that I have been contemplating sticking my finger down my throat to disgorge all of the bile that is building up inside me! (I shouldn’t watch TV). Politicians don’t work for the American people. They never have. They work for the major corporations and banks. These are the organizations that bought and paid for them by funding their campaign chests. So who do these politicians owe? It isn’t Joe Lunchbox, the American average Joe, that’s for damned sure!

My wife was telling me that Bush is going to be interviewed on one of the TV stations in the near future and asked me if I was going to watch the interview. It was a joke. She knows that I can’t stand the sight of him. I have muted the volume on the TV every time is smug little face appeared for the last four years that he was in office. He has nothing to say to me. He Cheney and Rumsfeld ought to be tried for war crimes after misleading, “ The American people” and getting us involved in Iraq and Afghanistan. I would say that some wars are very necessary. World war two for example. The two wars that Bush got us into were absolutely not necessary! There will be a lot of empty chairs at Thanksgiving tables for years to come because of these three war criminals, and for what?

Church bazaar triggers memories

2010-11-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

Our church recently had their annual fall bazaar. One of the donated items up for auction was a 1969 GMC pick up truck. It was in pretty fair condition. The hood was raised and several of us were examining the small engine. This whole scene brought back some memories. I hired in at the GM truck plant in Pontiac in 1964 as an inspector on the pick up cab line. The cab was painted and fully assembled when it came by me. My job was to check and see if the cab had the proper RPO’s ( regular production options). Now days a vehicle comes standard with so many things. Back in 1964 a right hand sun visor was an option as was a heater and a radio. One day several of my co-workers decided to take the day off and my boss was doing the final inspection. He came down the line to tell me that a cab had come by him that had a sun visor and it shouldn’t have had one. I apologized for missing this item and he told me that there was no problem and that everyone missed something now and then. A while later he yelled all the way down the line, “Hey Neiger! You missed three more sun visors!” I watched much closely after that!

The American automobile industry was running wide open in the sixties. Pontiac Motors and Fisher body were working twelve hours six and seven days every week! Anyone could get a job there. Pontiac was running employment ads in southern papers. I placed my application at GM truck, Pontiac Motors, and Fisher body on a Tuesday and got called to come in for an interview by all three on Wednesday. I went to the truck plant for the first interview. My dad had always told me to get a haircut, shine your shoes and to wear a suit when you asked a man for a job so that is what I did. I felt like an atheist in church while waiting to be called in from the waiting room for my interview. All around me were men who hadn’t shaved or combed their hair. Some looked as if they had slept in their clothes, and here I stood in my suit looking like I was going to a wedding or a funeral! The guy that was interviewed before me was one of these unkempt individuals. He was made a spot welder. The guy that followed my interview was made a riveter, and I was made an inspector. I never bothered to go for the interview at the other plants. Inspector sounded good to me! My dad had given me the best advice that I had ever gotten. The wearing of a suit got me a gravy job that got me noticed. Because of this I was promoted to supervisor at the tender age of twenty one.

Back in 1964 our huge plant employed several thousand people and built pick up trucks, medium duty trucks, heavy duty trucks, Steel Tilt trucks, school buses, Pie wagons ( UPS trucks), military buses, intercity buses and vans. There was at least one half of a square mile under roof. I went by the old plant several months ago just for a nostalgia trip and found everything gone. There were some concrete slabs here and there and weeds trying to get a foot hold. I was shocked! Someone destroyed a major part of my history! I had felt the same way when I went through the old neighborhood where I grew up and found that my grade school had been replaced by condos!

Back in the sixties the heavy repair, ( engine and transmission changes) on the big trucks were performed out doors both in winter and summer with just a roof over the mechanics head. This was Michigan! Extra warm clothes were provided for these mechanics but it is very difficult to handle nuts and bolts while wearing gloves. It was early in the seventies before a new building was finally constructed and these mechanics were moved into a heated building. Believe it or not some of these mechanics didn’t like being inside.

This plant also built school bus chassis. The chassis and everything forward of the driver was complete when it left the factory. The front fenders, hood and cowl were all painted yellow and then the assembly was driven to a plant in Ohio which built and installed the body. This plant was probably eighty or ninety miles away. There was no windshield and the driver sat on a fiberglass seat and drove it down there winter or summer. There were no seat belts. The factory provided these drivers with all the warm clothes and face protection that they needed to stay warm and safe. Still it must have been a hell of an ordeal. Eventually they began to truck these chassis down to Ohio.

Some old buildings were torn down a couple of years before I retired. Some interesting items were found inside. One of those items was the tooling that was used to form the wooden spokes for the original trucks.

I hired in with the idea that I would only be there a few months. Surely opportunity would find me and knock on my door. Some how this never happened and I stayed there for twenty eight years working as a production supervisor for most of those years. I did spend the last couple of years as a quality control supervisor. I was responsible for all of the inspectors in the entire Blazer plant during the last year. My regular work week was five twelve hour days, ten hours on Saturday and eight hours on Sunday. An opportunity for an early retirement came with the announcement that the plant would be closing. I grabbed that opportunity and got out early with a good retirement.

I still think often about my years at GM, and about the various people that I worked with as well as the employees that worked for me. Sometimes I will dream that I am running some department and a situation arises. Most of these dreams are pleasant but now and then there will be a bad dream. I guess that what I did for all those years is just a part of who I am and will always be so.

I did contract work as a production supervisor at various GM plants around the country for about eight years after I retired. The pay and benefits were wonderful but eventually the stress of the job and the loneliness that was caused by my wife being home in Virginia and me being in some apartment in Dayton, Ohio, St. Louis, or Kansas City, Missouri and I finally retired for good.

The Great Pumpkin!!

2010-10-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Go ahead a nd laugh if you will but I swear to you that I saw him last year! We had 3 pumpkin plants in our garden. Altogether there were 9 pumpkins. I dressed up in orange and green camoflage and laid down in the middle of the patch. I looked at my watch at 11:15 PM and no great pumpkin had appeared. I was just getting ready to leave the patch and go to bed when I heard a rustling in the plant next to me. I slowly turned my head and there he was! He was huge! He looked like a giant walking pumpkin plant! His arms looked like long vines and his head resembled a pumpkin! He didn't see me. I was trying not to breathe hard but it wasn't easy. I'm telling you that I have never been so excited! I couldn't hold on anymore and I wet myself! The great pumpkin had a chart in his hand and I know that he was rating my pumpkin patch. He saw me move and was gone in a flash! I didn't even see which way that he went! I BLEW IT! I BLEW IT! I will never know if my patch was the most sincere!

ahhh pea soup! My favorite!

2010-10-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

I made a pot of the worst split pea soup that the world has ever tasted! Bleahhh! During the process Pat said to me, "Here honey. Use this chicken stock that I have in the freezer here." So being a responsible pleasing husband I said, "Okey dokey there little woman who controls the amount of sex in this household. Anything to please you!" So I mixed up all the ingredients and cooked it for an hour and a half. I then went to a meeting and couldn't wait to get home to eat a big bowl of pea soup with some nice chewy bread, "Yum Yum! says I!"My mouth was watering all the way home. I fixed a big bowl as soon as I walked in the house and took a big spoonful. "Bleahhhh!!! and Pffffttt!" says I. "Honey this tastes like apple jelly. Maybe some Tabasco and a little salt will help." So I added a liberal amount of salt and Tabasco. "Double bleaahhh!" says I. "You know what?" says she who must be obeyed. I think one of those jars wasn't chicken stock! I think I remember freezing a jar of apple juice!" Now the question is how do you dispose of 1 1/2 gallons of apple flavored pea soup!

Hanging a new storm door

2010-10-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling with hanging a storm door all afternoon. I finally quit. It got to dark to see. I have hung several storm doors in the past but this one is different. The frame had to be built out about 3 inches. The hardest part of hanging a door is visualizing the installation of the Z channel. It always takes me a while to figure that out. Anyway, I have the frame hung and tomorrow I will finish the installation. I am a little concerned with the possibility of interference with the main door and storm door handles hitting each other. That will present a problem that will require building the door out even more. My fingers are crossed!!

The front of our house faces directly south. The living areas are on the north side of the house. The bedrooms which are on the front of the house get all of the winter sunshine while the back is dark. This storm door is a full glass door and will allow us to open the inner door which will allow more light into the main part of the house.

yes to yogurt

2010-10-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

My wife sampled the homemade yogurt this morning and pronounced it good! I asked her if she thought that it was as good as the greek yogurt which is very rich and she said that it was pretty close. It certainly was easy and cheap enough to make as well as a fun project!

Next week I will tackle making saurkraut

I made yogurt today

2010-10-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

The yogurt project went well! There were some minor malfunctions but everything worked out. I used a candy thermometer and this worked okay. I did see the advantage of using a thermometer with a dial on the top. It would be much easier to read. The last step in the process called for the milk and yogurt starter to be blended very well and then the mixture was to be placed on a heating pad which was sent on medium heat. The pan was to be covered with the lid and a towel to hold in the heat. I did all of this and then had to leave the mixture alone for seven hours. This was the hard part! I wanted to peek but didn’t. I was watching the clock though during the last hour and telling myself not to touch it.

I took the towel and lid off five minutes early. I just couldn’t wait any longer. The mixture had congealed! Hooooray! I stirred it briskly to stop the fermentation and then poured it into containers and placed it in the frig for over night. It should be thicker in the morning.

I figure that I have about twenty seven cents into each six ounce jar. This is a significant savings over the store bought stuff. We will just have to taste it to see if it was worth the effort.

The recipe that I used said that store bought yogurt is thicker because they use thickeners one of which is pectin. They also use sugar and sometimes other additives. My yogurt is simply milk and yogurt starter. Nothing else. I used three tablespoons of commercial yogurt as the starter. I won’t have to use commercial stuff anymore. I will simply save three tablespoons from the last cup of this batch.

I got the yogurt instructions by typing Making yogurt in Google and got wonderful step by step instructions.

Ahhh! The do it yourself lifestyle

2010-10-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

I have been fantasizing lately about the rural life style. I have a friend who started raising a few free range chickens about a year ago. They are getting eggs now and I have been one of her best customers. The eggs are a lot better tasting than store bought eggs. They even look different with orange colored yolks. They are antibiotic and steroid free. My friend told me that store bought eggs are on average two weeks old before they ever hit the stores. She talked about how much fun it is to watch the chickens run around the yard chasing bugs and just doing what chickens do. I live in a fairly nice subdivision so chickens are out of the question for me. I can just hear a neighbor bitching about chickens pecking her squash and tomatoes.

My friend told me recently that she and her husband had just purchased two piglets. (Oh boy! Bacon and eggs!) They will raise them for several months and then have them turned into bacon, ham, etc. Again no steroids! No antibiotics!

All of this plus reading the book, Made By Hand, by Mark Frauenfelder have encouraged me to try some things myself. Mark talks about making yogurt. I went on line and found a wealth of information re: making yogurt so I am going to try it this week. I personally don’t care for yogurt but my wife eats it every day. I think that it tastes like spoiled ice cream mixed with a little chicken shit for flavor but everyone to their own tastes I guess. I have never tasted chicken shit by the way but my imagination sometimes gets the best of me.

There is also an article about making sauerkraut in Mark’s book. My German grandmother used to make sauerkraut. Again, I went on line and read about how to make it. There were numerous articles about it. Requirements are a stone crock, cabbage, a rock, salt, and a round board to fit over the top of the crock. Ma Nature supplies the rest of the ingredients. It sounded simple enough to me and we do have a stone crock big enough to make five Lbs. so I am going to give that a try also.

I will keep everyone posted about my adventures in wild fermentation as these projects are attempted.

self checkouts at retailers

2010-07-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

Self Checkouts Cost Jobs

I am totally against the use of self checkouts at Home Depot and other retail businesses. I believe that they cost jobs. I also believe that if we continue to use them eventually there will be more and more of them, and fewer and fewer cahier jobs. I shopped at Home Depot last Friday and when I went up front to pay for my items found that there were no checkouts open. The self checkout however was open. I told the clerk that was monitoring these self checkouts that I needed to take my items to a cashier and she informed me that none were available and that I should use the self checkout which I refused to do. I asked to speak to the store manager and the monitor called for him. He didn’t come to speak to me but told the monitor to tell me that I should take my items to the service desk which I did. The service desk employee rang the items up.

I went back there again on Saturday to pick up a couple more items and there was one checkout open but it was somewhat backed up. The cashier at the self checkout volunteered to ring up my items after I told her my policy of no self checkout. She told me that she didn’t feel that self checkouts eliminated jobs and I asked her how many of these checkouts was she monitoring and she said four. The store wasn’t real busy but I could see that if it was she would certainly be replacing three cashiers.

We citizens complain to our government that there are no jobs and yet we don’t help the situation when we use these self checkouts there by helping these big corporations reduce the amount of employees that they would normally have. The corporations might respond by stating that they are simply trying to keep costs down for the consumer. I don’t buy this argument at all. I feel that these mega-corporations have one goal and that goal is their bottom line period.

I will continue to refuse to use self checkouts.

chiken hawks

2010-07-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

I discovered Link tv a few months ago and have become addicted! It gives a completely different view on world situations. Last night was devoted to Bush, Rumsfeld and that bloated hog Cheney who just refuses to do the world a favor and have a fatal heart attack! The program showed how our nation was deliberately misled into thinking that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction so we could get into Iraq and set up military bases.

The program the night before was all about Viet Nam and all of the protesters as well as the soldiers who simply refused to fight and kill anymore babies and women. One statement stuck with me. One protester was accused of not being patriotic because he didn't support the troops and the war. He answered that a person can be just as patriotic when he opposes the wrong doings of his country.

I got off of my duff and called to donate money to Link as soon as the program was over. This is the first time that I have given money to a tv or radio station. PBS is good but they have begun taking advertizing money and will soon be told what they can and can not say.

There are other worthwhile programs such as Aljazeera and Mosaic which come on at 10 and 10:30 repectively. Mosaic actually plays news broadcast from inside the Arab countries and then translates. It is a perspective that you will never hear on any stations in this country.

I have Direct tv and find Link on channel 375

commercials and tv!!!

2010-04-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

I watch very few sporting events on tv. I do however thoroughly enjoying watching the NCAA basketball tournament every March. I finally got so disgusted with the constant interruption of the game by commercials that I turned off the championship game between Duke and Butler half way through the second half last night. It seems like every five minutes or so the game is stopped so that the viewers can be bombarded with commercials for things that they can't possibly live without. This interruption can change the momentum of the game. It is 11:00AM the day after the game and I still don't know who won. I think that I won't even bother watching the playoffs next year.
This same constant interruption drove me to public television also. I always see what's going on there before checking out the regular channels. I hardly know what programs are on regular tv any more.
The same thing happened with radio. Constant earsplitting bombardment of commercials drove me to look for an alternative. That is how I discovered public radio and classical music about fifteen years ago. I am much better off for it.

Spring

2010-03-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

Spring is coming at me to quickly! It seems to drag it's muddy feet and I think that I have all of the time in the world to get things done and then WHAM! I am trying to play catch up!

Soon Easter will be here. There will be at least 10 people coming from Michigan. It will be a frenzy and then complete quiet. We really look forward to everyones arrival and enjoy them all while they are here. There is always plenty of laughter and hilarity. Then a few days after Easter Sunday everyone gets in their cars and within a moment the world is quiet and boring and maybe even a little bit depressing.

The health bill passed

2010-03-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

The health bill passed! Now what? I guess now what depends on who you listen to. Some say this bill is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Others say that it will be the downfall of this country. Both sides seem to have valid arguments. I don't see how taxes won't eventually be raised to pay for this and I am terribly disappointed that there was no public option to help control the insurance companies. They remind me of a bunch of sharks on a feeding frenzy in the middle of a school of minnows.

blogging again

2010-03-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

A friend asked me the other day why I stopped blogging. I guess that I just didn't have anything much to say. I have decided to start up again.
I recently discovered Facebook and have really enjoyed poking around there. Most of my older grandkids are there and I can keep in contact with them. Both of my daughters are there also. There is an area dedicated to finding high school or college classmates and I have been in contact with several of them after locating them on Facebok. Some of these classmates have recent photos of themselves. It's hard for me to understand how I remained so young looking and these other people have gotten so old looking. :?) It's only been forty nine years since graduation.

On another note: My wife asked me if I thought much about the posibility of the cancer returning. I told her that I think about it everyday. It is the elephant in the room! I do not dwell on it however. Mostly it is a passing thought which I put out of my mind. I live my life one day at a time. I read something the other day in a novel. This old woman advised her daughter to look at everything as if she were seeing it ffor the first or laast time. I really liked that piece of advice. I live my life one day at a time. I have found that the birds sing louder; The grass is greener; and the flower colors are much more vibrant when I live like this.

I recently read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. This novel was written in 1943 and is a historical novel about a girl who grew up in poverty in Brooklyn near the turn of the century. I had heard of this book over the years but had never read it. WOW! What a great book. I highly recommend it.

My book

2010-01-31T15:27:00.000-08:00

I finally won the fight with procrastination and inertia. I got my book off to the publisher last Thursday. I spent the longest time trying to prod myself into getting it finished and into the mail. I have no idea why I fought it. I really feel good about having it on it's way.

We make our annual February sojourn to Florida tomorrow. I really look forward to this trip each February. Actually I start looking forward to it in early January. I can't wait to sleep with the windows open for a few weeks. It will be almost March when we return and then April and once again the beautiful season.

It really snowed here from early Saturday morning until late Saturday evening. We have about 10 inches on the ground. I don't even own a snow shovel anymore. I plan on using the solar method of snow removal from now on. It will be all gone by the time that we head north again from Florida.

The temperature is falling rapidly tonight. It has dropped 6 degrees in the last hour and a half. It is 19 at the moment

Once again thousands of Robins are frequenting the trees in our back yard. And I mean thousands. They arrive about 40 minutes before dark and fill the air with their chirping. Minutes before dark they fly down into the hundreds of pines in the woods behind the house. Their numbers increase as spring gets closer. They are a real joy to watch.

We forgot to get more bird seed when shopping the other day. I put the last that we had in the feeders this afternoon. The Chichadees, Juncos, Cardinals, Titmice, Nuthatches and Blue jays will have to fend for themselves for a while

Christmas in Michigan

2009-12-28T13:55:00.000-08:00

We arrived in Michigan on the twenty third of December and immediately felt the cold as we stepped out of the car. It took two full days before all of the parts of my body got warm at the same time. It seemed as if some part was always cold. I am just not used to the cold anymore. It is hard for me to believe that I used to love winter in Michigan. I would go ice fishing and cross country skiing almost every weekend while I lived here. It doesn't interest me anymore.
It snowed three or four inches today. We were staying at my step son's house out in the country. There is no doubt that the snow is beautiful gently covering the landscape but it is best viewed through thermopane windows.
We leave for home tomorrow. It will be good to be back in Virginia where the sun shines a lot more than it does in Michigan in the winter. Oh yes...It is considerably warmer there also!

a perfect storm

2009-11-13T13:53:00.000-08:00

WOW! What a storm! three days of heavy winds and rain. We must have had eight or ten inches of rain. I walked through the back yard today and sank up to my ankles on several occasions. The ground is that saturated.
We went to bed about 11;00 last night. Our bedroom is located under some big pine trees. The wind was steadily blowing at near hurricane force. We were thinking that we should get out of the bedroom so we moved to the couches in the center of the house and tried to sleep there. Somehow we never lost power. It did flicker a couple of times but came right back. I moved the generator from the shed to the garage in case it is needed. It is 4:00pm on the third day. The winds are gradually diminishing but are blowing steadily at 20 mph.
I went to the marina today expecting to see extensive damage but found none. The tide rose several feet but the wind was straight from the north and the land absorbed most of the energy. The boaters were very lucky.
A friend called this morning to ask if I would come to their house and cut up a pine that had fallen across their driveway so I did that. Pat and I also went to our old neighborhood which is in the lower end of the county. We had to drive through a mile of flooded roads to get in there. There has been no power there since 11:00 am yesterday. Fortunately the temperatures have remained in the mid fifities so people have stayed relatively warm.
We saw very few downed trees. Hurricanes Isabelle and Ernesto did a good job of getting rid of dangerous trees. We may escape this storm unscathed if we can make it a few more hours as the winds subside.

elections are near

2009-11-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

Once again I am enjoying hating all of the political ads. Each candidate calls the other a low life corrupt horse thief who has at one time or another sold all of the female members of his family in to prostituition. If all of the various allegations are true perhaps prison would be better for each of these candidates than public office. Amen?

PET scan

2009-10-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

Great news! The PET scan showed that I have no cancer in my system!! I actually jumped up and did about a 5 second soft shoe routine when the doc told me. It is 10 months today since my last treatment.

Face Book

2009-10-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

I recently decided to join Face Book and to use it as a means to communicate with my grand children. It has been good for that but it has also allowed me to get in touch with people that I went to high school with. I contacted two of them in the last few days. When I saw thse old school mates pictures I wondered how they got so old looking and I stayed so young.
I had a scheduled PET scan today. I am sitting here somewhat anxiously awaiting the results which won't come in until tomorrow. I am always a bit anxious, when waiting for the result, but this time it is a little worse because I have been experiencing a sore throat. I pray for good news tomorrow.

2009-10-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

For the first time in history congress will not allow an increase in Social Security cost of living. In fact; The Kaiser Foundation predicts that there may not be any COLA adjustments for the next three years. However the per monthly premium for medicare insurance will go from $96.40 t0 $104.20 in 2010 and to 120.20 for the year 2011. Don't forget. CONGRESS VOTED THEMSELVES A PAY RAISE AGAIN!

I have been thinking about how we citizens can send the message to our government that they are supposed to be representing us and not the major corporations of the country. The only way that I believe that we can send a really strong message is to vote out of office every incumbent at the state and federal levels. Clean house. Dump them all. Republicans, and Democrats. Fire them all with our vote! Cause some chaos. I believe that one of the reasons that this doesn't happen is because people don't know who their representitives are. They walk into the voting booth and see a familiar name and simply vote for him. How easy it would be. Don't pay any attention to the campaign mud slinging. Simply vote against the incumbent.

Tom

Lou Dobbs

2009-10-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

I was trying to avoid listening to Lou Dobbs program last Saturday night but could hear him railing even with my MP3 player blasting out Eric Clapton. My wife likes to listen to Lou tell her what is so terribly wrong with our government or the world in general. I turn my music up so as not to hear him. It didn't work. Week after week he tells us that everything is terribly wrong. It isn't that I disagree. The fact is that I do agree. I, like probably most of the folks who listen in, are frustrated. What are we supposed to do? We could elect another greedy liar to replace the ones that are in power. Hmmm..Doesn't seem like that would do any good. What does Mr. Dobbs expect us to do about all of the things that are so terribly wrong. Sometimes I believe that ignorance is bliss. I know some folks who refuse to listen to the news. They are happy folks. Maybe that's what we are supposed to do...Simply don't listen. Don't worry. Be happy mon!

gag-a-scope

2009-10-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

The Ear, Nose and Throat doc (hereafter known as the ENT) Looked down my throat yesterday with the gag-a-scope and found that everything looked good to him.I was relieved to say the least. I had been having a bit of a sore throat and was concerned. I am set to have a PET scan on the 19th of this month. I always get a little uptight before them!

nanc's picture

2009-09-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

My boyhood friend Curt and I had been out of contact for about forty five years when I decided to try and locate him a year ago. Fortunately I knew where his sister worked and contacted her regarding his location. She told me where he lived and gave me his phone number. I called him and agreed to travel the two hours to his home. It was a joyous occasion. We went to lunch and talked about our memories and about old friends who had passed on. We were surprised to discover that we had both had a crush on a girl named Nancy and that neither one of us had been brave enough to pursue her. We thought that she was too beautiful to bother with us. Curt told me that he had a large senior picture of her and that he would send it to me. It came last week. She was as beautiful as I remembered her to be. I thought that it would be nice to hang her picture over our bed so I took the frame off of a picture of the kids that had been hanging in that spot, and inserted the picture of Nancy. I was admiring it when my wife entered the bedroom.
“ Who’s that?” She asked.
“That’s Nancy.” I proudly answered.
“ Nancy who?” She asked. I sensed an attitude developing.
“She’s a girl that Curt and I had a crush on in high school. “Ain’t she beautiful?”
That question went unanswered.
“What did you do with the kid’s picture?” She asked.
“It’s in the drawer over there.” I answered, pointing to the dresser on the other side of the room.
Now I consider myself a sensitive guy and I sensed that she wasn’t happy with the situation. I had no idea why and was startled when she informed me that I had exactly forty five seconds to get, “That woman’s picture” out of the frame and to get the kids picture back in there! I thought about protesting but was pretty sure that I saw steam coming from her ears. It was no wonder. Her face was terribly red!
“ I don’t get it!” I stated. “Don’t you think that she’s beautiful?”
“You don’t, don’t get it?!” She stammered. You mean to tell me that you honestly don’t get it?!”
I didn’t get it but then again I seem to have a great deal of trouble getting, “It”
Nancy’s picture is now in the mail on the way back to Curt’s house. I enclosed a letter with suggestions for gluing it back together. One tooth will be missing and one eye will be slightly cocked but she will still look beautiful to me and Curt.
Tom Neiger

The Ol' Curmudgeon Is Pissed!

2009-08-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

I purchased a new computer a few months ago and it came with a 21" monitor and an Epsom printer. I have printed probably 8 or 10 pages with the black ink and am being told that it is time for me to purchase some more black ink. I have heard that Epsom sets their printers up with very little ink so that the purchaser has to run out and spend a lot of money on another cartridge almost immediately. I would refill my cartridges on my old printer but can't on this one because there is a computer chip in the cartridge that will not allow the cartridge to be reused even if I refill it! That pissed me off! I would gladly purchase a new cartridge if the price was anwhere near reasonable. (Which it ain't) so......I heard of a store ( Cartridge World) that refills cartridges for a few bucks. Thy will also tell me how to bypass the chip. The nearest one to me is in Richmond where I happen to go every few weeks. I will purchase a refilled cartridge the next time that I go that way. There are 650 Cartridge Worlds in the USA. Each of them must refill dozens of cartridges a day. Just think; Epsom and the othe printer manufacturers could bring their prices down somewhere near reasonable and have all of this business. What could they be thinking???? Duh!!

camping at James River State Park

2009-08-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

Pat and I just returned from spending 5 days and four nights at the James River State Park in the hill country here in Virginia. We had never been there before, but will certainly return. I have forgotten how many acres of land the park contains but my guess would be a few thousand. There are two miles of frontage on the James River which is stunningly beautiful with many small rapids and several islands. The river's rocks look like they have been placed there by an artist. Each scene was spendidly arranged. We spent one morning in kayaks drifting slowly down stream admiring the great beauty of the river as well as the flora along the shore. Wild sunflowers, Cardinal flowers and Hibiscus were everywhere. Blue skies, beautiful clouds Cicadas singing and warm breezes completed the scene. There was a hatch of Damsel Flies which are tourquise in color. They resemble small dragon flies in shape. There were literally tens of thousands of them rising from the water. Smallmouth Bass were eagarly gulping them up. We reserved a site in advance. We suspected that a site would be hard to get. We opted for a site with electric and water even though we were tent camping and didn't need either. We chose this site because we read that the other camping areas in the park offered no shade. We found out later that we had been misled by what we had read. The primitive sites by the river were well shaded and a tent could be pitched just a few feet from the water. We will certainly stay there next time. We also found another campground that is way back in the woods. It is far removed from all signs of civilization. This spot is for the camper that relishes the back woods experience.
This is the second time that we have used our new tent and we were well pleased with it. The tent is 10x15 and has two rooms. We slept comfortably on our queen sized air mattress in the back room and used the front room as a screened house where we read until sleepy each night. The first day was unbearably hot. Pat can't take the heat as well as I can and she suffered the most. We discovered a picnic are at the river on the second day and spent the day lounging, reading and swimming. It was a perfect day. Fortunately the nights were cool and we slept comfortably. There were many stars visible through the screened windows in our sleeping area and we fell asleep each night looking at them. We packed up about ten this morning. We were sweatty and went to take a shower after loading the car. We found the showers being cleaned so we went to the picnic area and took a swim instead. We sat reading and gazing at the river afterward. Neither of us wanted to leave. It was so relaxing and beautiful there with the cool breeze blowing gently off the river as we sat in the shade. We finally decided that we had better head home and did so about noon. It took three and a half hours to get to the house. As MacArtur said,"I shall return!"

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-08-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

I visited the Ear Nose and Throat doc last Wednesday. He sprayed my right nasal passage with some numbing agent and ran the scope down through my nose to take a look at my tongue and throat. Fortunately I love to gag!!! :?} He pronounced everything okay. I always feel great relief and joy when I get a good report.

On another note: The work trip to Bear Mountain and the Monocan Indians went very well. I always feel happy when I am volunteering, and working with all of the kids made the trip even more enjoyable. We learned a considerable amount about the tribes culture. The food was outstanding. The last night's dinner was buffalo burgers, roasted corn, sweet potatoes, and succotash. Mixed berries simmered with sugar and water and then poured over ice cream was our dessert. Yum Yum! We were told that indians didn't have desserts like cakes, cookies, etc. They liked sweets also so they would simmer and reduce down whatever berries were available. This was mixed with honey and eaten.

It's not our world anymore

2009-07-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

IT’S NOT OUR WORLD ANYMORE

I had a thought suddenly materialize the other day which is unusual because I try not to have any thoughts. They keep me awake. I suddenly realized that it’s not our world anymore. I am referring to folks of my own age; People somewhere in their late sixties or older. Not all of us but certainly a sizeable portion of our population suffer from the condition that I am about to describe. I am speaking for myself when I say this but the world baffles me sometimes. I am stymied by my cell phone. I stand about a fifty fifty chance of learning all of its functions in a year or two and then it will be time for a new phone and the process will begin again.
I don’t even try to figure out what all those colored terminals on the back of my TV are for. I’m sure that using them would simplify the process required to watch a movie on my DVD player, but I find it easy to simply disconnect the cable that runs from my TV to my satellite box and reconnect it to the DVD player each time that I want to watch a movie. My daughter can jump on these things and make them work for her. Most younger people can. They were born in the computer age. They don’t remember life without cable let alone without TV.
The remote for the satellite box is another example. “Wow!” I said when the cable guy handed me the remote for the first time. “It sure has a lot of colored buttons doesn’t it?” We have had satellite TV for two years now and I just discovered the other day that if I push the red button while watching the weather channel I can instantly get the weather report for my area. I have no idea what the other colored buttons do. They intimidate me. But as long as I know how to surf the channels I am okay .
Then there’s my computer. What a vast waste land it is! I know that it is filled with all kinds of programs just sitting there wasting away. I know how to use some of Microsoft Word and I know how to use email and surf the internet, but that’s about it.
I have a digital wrist watch that has been laying in my dresser drawer for about six months. I can’t figure out how to change the time to daylight savings. Someone in China wrote the instructions. I found that the Chinese
don’t think like I do. I wore the watch for a while believing that I would remember the time difference but I found that my memory isn’t quite as good as it used to be either. I was either arriving early or late for my appointments with one of the many doctors that I support. My daughter could quickly fix this also, but I am too embarrassed to tell her that I can’t set my own watch. My dress watch has one function. It tells me the time. If the time is wrong I pull out the stem and make the time right. No problem! That’s the way god intended for watches to work!
And what is Face book for heavens sake? Is it a photo album? Why don’t they simply call it a photo album. The term Face Book sounds primitive. “Ugh! Me have picture in face book Grog!”
What is this Twitter stuff that I hear people talking about? It must involve birds. They are the only creatures that I know of that twitter. Supposedly everyone is twittering. I listen for it all the time but never hear anyone twittering. The term twittering sounds effeminate to me. “ So! Like me and Brucey were twittering when Paulie walked in! I was like so embarrassed!”
Texting baffles me also. My grandkids have worn out three sets of thumbs. They are always punching buttons on their cell phones with them. Their foreheads are permanently bruised. They walk into things while texting. Texting is that important to them. I have read some of their messages too. What language are they using? My granddaughter laughed at me when I asked her what LOL meant. She looked at me like I was dumber than a box of rocks. For all I know LOL could mean leaning on Larry!
Maybe I am simply getting lazy in my old age. Maybe my learner is shot. I would rather sit on my deck and listen to the birds and drool on my shirt then to try and keep up with this stuff. That is what old age is all about; sitting quietly, not bothering anybody, and drooling.

Tom Neiger

cat scan

2009-07-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

I had a CAT scan last Monday. I would like to say that I wasn't concerned about what the outcome would be, but I was. Sunday, the day before the scan, I tried to get it out of my mind. My daughter and four year old grandson were here. We want to take him on a camping trip and we had to see how he would handle sleeping in the tent. Setting the tent up and playing with him kept my mind occupied for the most part. I took a Xanax before bedtime and slept well. The test was performed at 10:00 on Monday. They looked at my neck, head, and chest. I kept trying not to think about the possible outcome during the rest of the day, and was moderately succussful. Tuesday morning I waited for the dreaded call and it didn't come. I immediately thought that that meant bad news. I finally called the doctor's office about 10:30. The receptionist told me that the doctor hadn't reported in yet but that she would try to contact her. Twenty minutes later the phone rang and it was the doctor. My chest tightened up when I heard her voice. She wasted no time informing me that everything was fine. What a relief!! I told her to imagine herself getting a big hug. She laughed. I am all set now until I have a PET scan in October.

I've been thinking too much

2009-06-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot lately which is a dangerous thing for me to do!! I don’t have the best thinker in the world. I keep hearing that things will be better when the economy turns around. What I don’t understand is how can the economy turn around when there will be no good jobs out there. I am talking about good solid middle class American jobs. Industry has gone to Asia. Very little is manufactured here. Even the tech jobs have disappeared,
They are in India and Pakistan. Plumbers, electricians, and carpenter jobs have gone to low wage migrant workers. So if the average middle class person can not get a job with sufficient wages and benefits how can the economy turn around?. These people were the engine that drove our economy. The only things that they are driving anymore are old cars! What is it about this that I don’t understand?
Another thought; A person making twenty five dollars an hour pays roughly five dollars per hour in taxes. A person making eight dollars an hour pays only a dollar and sixty cents an hour. This severely reduces the money available for our government to run on. I wonder if any of the knuckleheads in Washington considered this as they let our jobs disappear overseas?
Now China owns a large portion of the USA. They have loaned us billions. We have even sold some of our toll roads to foreign countries so that we could have some quick cash. This all needs to stop! I believe that it is time to place tariffs on this stuff coming from overseas. We need to make it profitable for companies to bring their factories here. We need our government to act. For some reason, I don’t expect this to happen any time real soon.
The Old Curmudgeon

summer work camp

2009-06-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

Pat and I have just returned from a vacation trip to Michigan where we watched our oldest granddaughter graduate from high school. We also spent a lot of time with the rest of the grandkids and their parental units. It is hard to believe how much a child can change in four or five months. We stopped in Lousia on the way home for a meeting re: our summer work camp which will begin on July 27th. We will be working with the Monocan Indians at their community on Bear Mountain which is near Lynchburg. A representative from the tribe met with us and explained what we would be doing while there. We will be spending some time working on various projects but will also spend a considerable amount of time learning who these people are and what they are about. The representative told us that they are the only Episcopalian indians in Virginia. She also told us of some of their beliefs. For example; I understood her to say that they believe that we go around and around, and that nobody learns it all on the first go around. I understood this to mean that they believe in some form of reincarnation. She said that when a person has completed the cycle they become the stars in the sky. The stars are their ancestors.
We will have many oppurtunities to learn about indian arts and crafts and will be able to experience an indian sweat lodge. All of this intriques me greatly. I can't wait to get there.
I recently read a book that traced the history of the American Buffalo. I thought it was a great read. I imagined myself as a plains indian boy getting ready to go on his first buffalo hunt in a time long before the white man and his diseases ruined a way of life that had existed for thousands of years. It must have been an exciting time to be alive

snopes

2009-05-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

Have you ever received an email stating something like this.The government states in a secret document that the sky is falling, or that Russia is building a monster bomb. Perhaps the email might state that an anonymous government official states that he has proof that aliens have landed and walk among us. We all have received emails of this variety. I received one today telling me that I must take action right away to stop the government from passing senate bill sb2099. The writer stated that this bill would make registration of all fire arms mandatory in 2009 and that there would be a $50 tax on each one. This all sounded pretty official. Fortunately I know of a web site that debunks a lot of this crap. The site is titled snopes.com. I went to this site and typed sb2099 in search and was given the truth which basically said that this bill was introduced in 2000 and more or less fell flat on it's face. I have found that this site will give you the real scoop and that if they don't know the real scoop they will tell you so. Check it out. Type snopes.com and take a look for yourself.

Oral Cancer. My personal Journey

2009-05-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

I had a check up with the ENT doctor today. He pronounced everything okay after numbing my throat and running a scope down there and looking around while I gagged. It was a giant relief. I have said many times that I truly try to live my life one day at a time and I do try to do that. However cancer is truly a life threatening condition that I know can reoccur at any time. Every time that I feel a little discomfort anywhere in my body I wonder, could this be serious?
My throat has been plugged lately with thick drainage caused by allergies. This has caused me a little soreness as well as congestion. I was concerned enough that I took a Xanax last night about an hour before going to bed because I felt that I would lay awake worrying about the exam today. This disease has humbled me. I am very, very thankful and grateful that I am alive and feel as good as I do. I do know who to thank for this also. I felt like skipping and singing when I left the doc's office today. Today is a good day. Need I say more?

From The Onion

2009-05-09T12:54:00.001-07:00

WASHINGTON—After nearly four months of frank, honest, and open dialogue about the failing economy, a weary U.S. populace announced this week that it is once again ready to be lied to about the current state of the financial system.
Tired of hearing the grim truth about their economic future, Americans demanded that the bald-faced lies resume immediately, particularly whenever politicians feel the need to divulge another terrifying problem with Wall Street, the housing market, or any one of a hundred other ticking time bombs everyone was better off not knowing about.
In addition, citizens are requesting that the phrase, "It will only get worse before it gets better," be permanently replaced with, "Things are going great. Enjoy yourselves."
"I thought I wanted a new era of transparency and accountability, but honestly, I just can't handle it," Ohio resident Nathan Pletcher said. "All I ever hear about now is how my retirement has been pushed back 15 years and how I won't be able to afford my daughter's tuition when she grows up."
"From now on, just tell me the bullshit I want to hear," Pletcher added. "Tell me my savings are okay, everybody has a job, and we're No. 1 again. Please, just lie to my face."
The national call for decreased candor began last month, after the Department of Labor released another soul-crushing report that most Americans agreed "wasn't helping anything" and "didn't need to be so specific, at least."
The report estimated that 663,000 private and public sector jobs were lost in the month of March—a revealing statistic many people found shockingly blunt. Responding to the new information, an overwhelming majority of citizens said they believe that, during these extremely uncertain times, our leaders have a responsibility to come together, sit the American people down, and lie through their teeth about everything from misappropriations of taxpayer dollars to the severity of the credit crisis.
"I don't need to be constantly reminded that the lack of regulations on Wall Street compounded with failing institutions like AIG basically plunged the world economy into a global recession," said 32-year-old office manager Alexis Harrington. "What I want is for someone to tell me with a straight face that the GDP is through the roof so that I can feel better and instantly forget what all these terms even mean."
"For the first time in my life I know who the secretary of the treasury is," Harrington continued. "And I don't like it."
Reluctantly informed citizens like Harrington have also asked that CEOs of the nation's five largest banks release a joint statement saying that the October bailout worked perfectly, normal lending has resumed, and that we're nowhere close to having the entire monetary system collapse upon itself like a house of cards.
According to a CBS News/New York Times poll, 98 percent of Americans no longer appreciate President Barack Obama's attempts to break down the economic crisis into simple terms they can understand. Instead, many say the president should have the decency to insult their intelligence by using complex jargon to confuse and deceive them, perhaps even implying that the subprime mortgage fallout was just a big misunderstanding that resulted from a clerical error.
"I know when he's telling the truth, and it bothers me," recently laid-off schoolteacher Mary Hanover said of Obama. "He gets this serious expression on his face and says things like, 'This is the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.' Who needs to hear that? For Christ's sake, smile a bit and say we just found a diamond mine under Montana that's going to pay for everything. I'll believe you."
"Please, treat me like a child. Treat me like a five-year-old," Sacramento resident David Cooke, 64, wrote in a letter to Congress. "I lost everything when the Dow tanked, and I'm too old to start working again, so why punish me further by explaining in detail the clever ways these investment firms ripped me off and how they're all going to get away with it?"
Thus far, many policymakers in Washington have responded favorably to their constituents' requests, saying they respect and understand the public's need for dishonesty.
"I think we can accommodate the American people on this," Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told reporters. "Why, just today we made excellent progress with GM, whose CEO Fritz Henderson told us that every penny of federal and taxpayer funds would go directly to the construction of three new auto plants in Detroit that will create over 90,000 new jobs and spark the economic rebound we've been waiting for."

good news

2009-05-03T18:23:00.001-07:00

John McCain believes we have to fight climate change, but not with Obama's cap and trade. Senate Minority Leader John Boehner thinks the idea that carbon dioxide is causing global warming is "comical". Sarah Palin, who once said that climate change isn't caused by man, now believes it's hurting Alaska and wants to drill for natural gas. RNC leader Michael Steele is a flat out climate change denier.
The biggest climate and energy bill ever to hit Congress is now taking center stage--and the GOP seems entirely unsure of how best to address global warming.

Politico puts it best: "Ask 15 Republicans about climate change, and you’ll get 20 different answers."
And that's not meant to be an insult to the GOP—there are indeed green Republicans working towards climate change solutions. But as Politico notes, the lack of party consensus on the issue could muddle proceedings and undermine the GOP's most potent line of attack: that a cap and trade or a carbon tax system would end up costing the American public too much money (a claim, by the way, that's exaggerated).
Which is good news for all those hoping that Congress can pass a bill that would curb carbon emissions. Of course, the best news would be for more Republicans to join forces with the likes of Sue Collins, the Maine Senator who's an outspoken advocate of climate legislation, and work towards a bipartisan bill to reduce greenhouse gases. But as it stands, the GOP party leadership is sending extremely mixed messages about what climate change even is--much less rallying for a unified course of action.
The GOP hasn't yet come up with an alternative to the Democrat's climate and energy bill—which one GOP Congressman called "the Largest Assault on Democracy and Freedom in this Country"--and they've produced no energy plan at all. It could be due to internal disagreement on the issue, or it could be that the Republican leadership deems addressing climate change unnecessary.
Either way, the "scattershot" confusion over the party's message on climate change is calling attention away from their argument that it would raise taxes and consumer costs—and drawing it to the fact that the GOP is undecided at best on how it plans on dealing with global warming. Which means less people will have an opportunity to buy into their "raised costs" line of attack. Which means a better shot at getting climate legislation passed to reduce greenhouse gases nationwide. Which means good news for Earth. John McCain believes we have to fight climate change, but not with Obama's cap and trade. Senate Minority Leader John Boehner thinks the idea that carbon dioxide is causing global warming is "comical". Sarah Palin, who once said that climate change isn't caused by man, now believes it's hurting Alaska and wants to drill for natural gas. RNC leader Michael Steele is a flat out climate change denier.
The biggest climate and energy bill ever to hit Congress is now taking center stage--and the GOP seems entirely unsure of how best to address global warming.

Politico puts it best: "Ask 15 Republicans about climate change, and you’ll get 20 different answers."
And that's not meant to be an insult to the GOP—there are indeed green Republicans working towards climate change solutions. But as Politico notes, the lack of party consensus on the issue could muddle proceedings and undermine the GOP's most potent line of attack: that a cap and trade or a carbon tax system would end up costing the American public too much money (a claim, by the way, that's exaggerated).
Which is good news for all those hoping that Congress can pass a bill that would curb carbon emissions. Of course, the best news would be for more Republicans to join forces with the likes of Sue Collins, the Maine Senator who's an outspoken advocate of climate legislation, and work towards a bipartisan bill to reduce greenhouse gases. But as it stands, the GOP party leadership is sending extremely mixed messages about what climate change even is--much less rallying for a unified course of action.
The GOP hasn't yet come up with an alternative to the Democrat's climate and energy bill—which one GOP Congressman called "the Largest Assault on Democracy and Freedom in this Country"--and they've produced no energy plan at all. It could be due to internal disagreement on the issue, or it could be that the Republican leadership deems addressing climate change unnecessary.
Either way, the "scattershot" confusion over the party's message on climate change is calling attention away from their argument that it would raise taxes and consumer costs—and drawing it to the fact that the GOP is undecided at best on how it plans on dealing with global warming. Which means less people will have an opportunity to buy into their "raised costs" line of attack. Which means a better shot at getting climate legislation passed to reduce greenhouse gases nationwide. Which means good news for Earth.

good news

2009-05-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

Israel develops solarpower 100x cheaper NETANYA, Israel — Scientists at the University of Tel Aviv in Israel have found a way to construct efficient photovoltaic cells costing at least a hundred times less than conventional silicon based devices, and with similar or better energy conversion efficiency. The reactive element in the researchers' patent pending device is genetically engineered proteins using photosynthesis for production of electrical energy.

good news

2009-05-01T18:30:00.000-07:00

OUR PICKS
Pink Leads Mass Karaoke in London
Leopard Cubs Pounce on World Stage
'Lucky' Pilot Talks of Emergency Landing
Robin Family Nests Outside White House

Golfer Shoots One-Armed Hole-in-One
A hole-in-one is a true rarity in the game of golf. So, such a feat by a legally-blind man, playing with just one arm due to a disability, must defy all odds.
Alan Perrin served in the British Royal Marines until 1992 when he was injured in a bomb explosion during training exercises. The blast left him with a disabled right arm, blind in his left eye and with compromised vision in the other, the Daily Mirror reported.
Despite those physical limitations, the former soldier turned to golf.
Playing at his local club in Devon, England recently, the 45-year-old made a one-handed drive towards a tee 160 yards away. The shot was perfect, though Perrin and his golfing partner didn't know it at first. They thought the ball was lost.
"We spent five minutes looking [for the ball] but didn't want to hold up the next group so we moved on," Scotsman.com reported Perrin saying.
"When the group behind us reached the green they found a ball in the hole and shouted up, 'Anyone lost a yellow ball?'" he recalled. "It was mine. I asked where they found it — and it was in the hole."
An amateur golfer with a handicap of 28, Perrin said, "I was stunned. I was a hole-in-one virgin up to then. I took up golf some time after my accident and have only ever played with one arm."

good news

2009-04-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

Teen Hero Uses Body To Shield 6 Year Old From Bullets
Amidst a basket ball game gone wrong, one teen did what is right.
Last weekend about 300 people were assembled in the Tony Aguirre Community Center on West Pennway Street in Kansas City to watch a basket ball game between DeLaSalle High School and the Southeast Community Center team.
In the fourth quarter an argument broke out between two groups of people in the stands. At one point guns were drawn and 8 people starting firing.
As the hail of bullets sped across the hall, 19 year old basket ball player Jullaion Jones quickly stepped off the court, pushed 6 year old Desean Merritt to the floor, and covered him with his body.
Jullaion kept protecting the little boy like this even when a bullet grazed him in the leg.
“Jullaion moved me and hided me in the corner, and covered his body over mine.”– Desean Merritt, 6
His father is grateful for the kind, potentially life saving act.
“I almost get teary-eyed just thinking about it.
It could have been worse than it was, God was really good that nothing happened to anyone.
I’m glad He put Jullaion there to do what he did.”– Sean Merritt
In total 5 people were injured. Police said all the injuries are non-life-threatening.

good news

2009-04-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

Lottery Winner Gives Prize to Charity
AOL / Wire Services
April 17) - A Michigan man who won $10,000 in the state lottery's Club Keno game has donated his winnings to a charity.
Soon after winning the money on March 11, Jim Dancy of Richland, Mich., decided others needed it more than he did. So he gave it all to the Greater Kalamazoo United Way.
"I was heavily influenced by my close friend Julie, who taught me to think of others first, and to stop and think about what life is really about. I know the needs in the community are great right now, so for me it was the right thing to do," Dancy said in a statement released by the Michigan Lottery.
Mike Larson, the charity's president and chief executive, called the gesture an "incredible act of kindness and generosity" and said the donation couldn't have come at a better time.
He says the economic downturn is making it tough on the agencies that the United Way serves.
Larson said that because United Way is a charitable organization, the winnings will not be taxed.
Dancy is co-founder and chief operating officer of a biological research company in Kalamazoo.

Humor

2009-04-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

In keeping with the humor theme please check out The Onion by simply typing the onion, in google. It is a spoof of everything that goes on in our society. The Onion bills itself as America's Finest News Source. It always gives me a laugh.

good news

2009-04-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

You know it seems that in today's world we hear nothing but bad news. Nobody wants to hear about the boy scout who helped the poor little old lady cross the street. They want to hear that the boy scout got half way across the street and then he was gunned down by a biker gang. It may be human nature that we want to hear bad news or it may be that we are simply fed a constant diet of bad news so we expect it.
I have decided to look for good news and to post some of it once a day. Following is the first such piece of good news.

Study: Humor Makes Us Hopeful
By Robert Roy Britt, LiveScience Senior Writer
posted: 13 April 2005 06:28 am ET

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var htmlstr = ' del.icio.us';
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Buzz up!
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A little humor can brighten your outlook, a new study suggests.
People who watched a 15-minute comedy video scored higher on a survey of hopefulness compared to those who didn't get the chance to guffaw.
The finding suggests humor could be a strategy to relieve stress and maintain well-being, the researchers say. The work was published recently in the International Journal of Humor Research.
Previous studies have revealed laughter is good medicine. A report released last month from the University of Maryland Medical Center found laughter makes blood vessels function better, causing the tissue that lines the vessels to expand, increasing blood flow. A previous study at the same institution concluded that laughter and an active sense of humor may protect against heart attacks.
Other surveys have found that humor can relieve stress and contribute to a person's overall well-being.
But why would humor foster hope? Maybe just by inhibiting negative thoughts, said Texas A&M psychologist David H. Rosen, one of the new paper's authors.
Laugher can stimulate thought and cause you to toss out automatic behavioral responses in favor of more creative pursuits, Rosen said. That leads to a greater sense of self worth and a tendency to develop plans of attack for dealing with problems.
The study involved 200 people aged 18-42. It measured not only smiles and laughter, but included surveys to reveal other ways participants reacted to humor.
"Someone who may not laugh as much while viewing a comedy video may still find the video quite humorous and thus have as much beneficial effects as someone who laughed a lot during the video," explained the lead author, Alexander Vilaythong of the University of North Texas.
Any advise for the hopeless?
"I would recommend that individuals seeking sources of hopefulness view comedy videos," Vilaythong told LiveScience. "Other sources of humor may work as well, such as finding humor in daily life, but I will leave that for future studies."Study: Humor Makes Us Hopeful
By Robert Roy Britt, LiveScience Senior Writer
posted: 13 April 2005 06:28 am ET

deposit law for cans and bottles

2009-04-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine spends time each year picking up debris along his road. He gets lots of soda cans and bottles. He believes that Virginia should have a deposit on all cans and bottles. I think that he is right. It is unbelieveable that Virginia doesn't have a deposit law. I am originally from Michigan where a deposit law has been in effect for many years. Many other states also have deposit laws and there is no doubt about it. The streets and roadsides are devoid of bottles and cans in Michigan as I am sure that they are in the other states as well. The store owners and distibutors will fight this law as they did in these other states. They have powerful lobbys but we must prevail upon our congressmen to get moving on this matter.

2009-04-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

We got a notice from Bank Of America informing us that they are drastically raising their rates for using their bank. Let's see if I understand how this all works. Banks act stupidly and then raise rates for customers to cover their mistakes. We will be checking with other area banks to see if we should move our accounts.
Our county has increased personal property taxes on cars and boats to cover deficits. I disagree with this. I think that the actions of government should compare with a household. Families have to cut spending when income decreases. There are no other choices. I believe that government should act the same. Sure it hurts. Reality is sometimes unpleasant. Here we are in the middle of one of the biggest recesions we have ever experienced and job losses are at an all time high and our county raises taxes. Taxes don't go down when the economy improves. Grocery prices were raised to cover increases in fuel costs. Fuel costs have gone down. Grocery prices have not. Hmmmmm!

2009-04-14T18:33:00.000-07:00

I have been watching Frontline on PBS tonight. The program is dealing with the Taliban and Pakistan. It looks like the Taliban will eventually take over Pakistan. One Taliban soldier said that they are taught that death is a blessing. How can you defeat an army with that attitude. Big armys can not defeat people who willingly strap explosives to themselves and gleefully walk into public places and blow themselves up. My wife just made the comment that maybe we are coming to the end of the world. That would be easy to believe after watching this program.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-04-13T13:15:00.000-07:00

Since the cancer is gone from my body at this time, I am going to write about other things, as I did before I got sick. I will update re. The cancer as things develop which I hope is never again. I am scheduled to go for a CAT scan in July.
It made me very happy to find out that the pirates were dead and the captain freed. My sister called with the news early this morning. She was excited as was I. I called my brother-in-law right away as I know that he doesn't generally watch the news in the morning. He was excited also. It seems to me that this nation needs some good news right about now. Our economy has tanked. A large and growing segment of our population is unemployed. People are losing their homes. Etc...Etc... We need a rallying point. I just can't understand why the USA doesn't put a few well armed soldiers on board our ships with orders to blow away any group that threatens one of our flagged vessels. I don't care what the rest of the world decides to do. Let them fend for themselves. Blow away a few pirates and see if they don't decide to go play somewhere else!

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-04-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

I got good news from the doc today. He thinks that the breast swelling is being caused by the prilosec and switched me to another type of acid inhibiter. I certainly hope that he is right. As I said in my earlier post I would sure hate to go through puberty again!!

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-04-09T05:57:00.000-07:00

I have an appointment to see my internist this morning. I have had a problem with swollen and painful nipples for the past few weeks. My chemo doctor thinks that my pituitary gland is producing too much of the female hormone. She told me that sometimes this is caused by a small tumor on the gland, but doesn't believe that this is the case on this occasion because I just had a PET scan which showed that there was no cancer present. She also doesn't believe that the radiation damaged the gland because it is located away from the radiated area. I have learned that I should ask myself, " What has changed?" when a problem occurs. Well the only thing that changed was the radiation and chemo. Anyway...I remember having the same problem as I began to go through puberty. Man!!! I hope I don't have to go through puberty again! I almost didn't make it the first time!!!

2009-04-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

Someone sent this to me via email. It almost makes sense!

There was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. TheBusiness Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?"I thought this was the BEST idea....I think this guy nailed it! Dear Mr. President, Patriotic retirement: There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force - pay them $1million apiece severance with stipulations. 1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed. 2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industryfixed. 3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed. Like I have been saying, they are bailing out the wrong people. AMEN

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-04-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

I had a follow up appointment with the chemo doctor yesterday. She pronounced everything A-ok and made an appointment for me to have another CAT scan in two months. Once again I heard a doctor say, " You are our poster child you know." I was very thankful!!!

I wrote this little story which was printed in our local paper recently.

My wife’s birthday is coming up next week. She asked me if I had gotten her a present yet. I said that I hadn’t. She showed me a flyer from Sears and said that there was a big sale on things for the home and that she would like some new every day silverware and dishes. Dollar signs began to run through my head. I somehow instinctively knew that this was gong to cost way more than I had intended to spend. I had been thinking that I might run to Peebles and see what they had on their sale rack in petites. New dish towels might also be nice. Maybe even a new mop. I knew that she would appreciate a good quality mop. She struggles so with the old one.
“What’s wrong with the silverware that we have dear?” I stupidly asked her.
“I mean the tines aren’t bent to badly on the forks, and I can straighten the bent ones in my vise!” The spoons don’t have holes in them yet! They still hold soup! The peas still stay on my knife!”
“ Look at them!” She stated. “They are horribly pitted and stained! They look worn!”
I refered her to the comments listed above. She scowled
“And what is wrong with the dishes sweety pie?” I stupidly asked her again.
“ They aren’t chipped! I don’t have to worry about cutting my tongue when I lick the plates and bowls!”
“Aren’t you sick of looking at the same design?” She asked. “You know that we have been using the same dishes for sixteen years?”
“Yes we have and that’s because we are very careful!” I answered.
Another scowl!
“You just don’t get it do you?” she stated.
She was right. I don’t get it, but then men never do seem to, “get it.” After all; Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, or Pluto, or somewhere way, way out there.
I know that my arguments are futile. I know that there will soon be shiny new silverware, and gleaming plates at our house. I know that this will happen, that is if I continue to care to eat.
And when all is said and done I know that I will truly enjoy the pleasurable feeling that one gets when inserting a shiny new knife full of peas in one’s mouth, especially when they are lifted from a sparkling new plate, and there will be no more little wounds on my lips from bent fork tines.
Happy birthday dear!
Amen
Tom Neiger

2009-04-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

I heard an interesting comment made by one of the talking heads on a Sunday morning Meet The Press type show this morning. He said something like this. Everyone in Europe seems to appreciate Obama. The only people who don't appreciate him are the conservatives back in America.

2009-03-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

I was surprised when Rick Wagoner was asked to step down from his position as CEO of General Motors. I have said all along that GM needed some outsiders on their board. It has been a good old boy organization since way before I hired in to work for them in 1964. College grads were hired and indoctrinated in the GM method. The secret to promotion seemed to be to support your boss whether he was wrong or right. Never take a stand on anything, and slowly but surely one would get promoted to their highest level of incompetance. Don't dare to think outside the box. That just wasn't the GM way!
What surprised me was that Wagoner was asked to step down and yet all of the big shot bankers were simply handed bushel baskets full of money and weren't even asked what they planned to do with it. They ran the banking system into the ground and yet there they sit. How come their hides haven't been nailed to the barn door?

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-28T06:03:00.000-07:00

My arms and lungs are sore this morning. I have been doing back flips and hollering for two days!! It all started right after I got the good news about being cancer free. I was told that all the treatment that I went through would be no more than a blip on the radar and that is true. It doesn't seem possible that I went through all of that hell, but it is worth it all now.
I want to thank everyone who prayed for my recovery. It worked.
Oh well; I'm off to do some hand springs and hollering!!!

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

Pat and I are in Ohio visiting my daughter and the grandkids. We got a call while traveling yesterday morning from the ENT doctor. He told me that everything was clear and that there was no cancer in my body. I knew that I was really nervous about getting the results, but didn't realize how strung out I was until I heard the great news. It was a significant emotional event!!! What a relief! It was like getting a new life. We called everyone from our cell phone and told them the news. Pat Had to do most of the talking. I was too shook up to talk much for a while.
Thanks to all of the people who prayed for us. It was the difference.
I was introduced to a lady this morning whose husband has inoperable lung cancer. Believe me...I can empathize!!! It seems like cancer is everywhere any more, or maybe I am just much more aware

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

I had my PET scan this morning. The nurse told me that I would have the results later today or by tomorrow. It is 9:45 PM and I haven't heard anything. I did not have a good feeling about the test. Maybe it was because I have been away from treatment for so long and being exposed to a hospital again just made me uncomfortable. I felt depressed today until I went to visit a member of our church who is a fellow sufferer. I have heard it said many times that when I am feeling sorry for myself or when I am feeling down the best remedy is to go do something to help someone. It worked. I felt better when I left his house.
I am not sure that the doctors realize what someone like myself is going through while waiting for the news. My mind will not quiet down. I am imagining all sorts of things. I am on pins and needles. I imagine that the doctor would call right away if the news was good and delay the call if the news was bad. Who wants to deliver bad news. It will be xanax for me at bed time!

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-25T04:49:00.001-07:00

I have a PET scan at 10:00 today. I am worried and didn't sleep very well last night. I found a new lump under my chin last night while eating dinner. Pat could feel it too. It could just be tissue damage from the radiation. Anyway; I am concerned. I have been feeling as good as ever. I have gotten my strength back and have been working hard in the yard the last few days trying to get it ready for summer. Hopefully everything will be okay today. I will probably worry from now on every time I have a new ache or pain. I certainly hope not.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-23T05:59:00.000-07:00

I will have a PET scan on Wednesday. This should tell me whether the cancer is gone or not. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

My favorite type of jokes are called groaners. I heard a good one the other day.

A woman dedicated her life to helping injured birds. Her husband was becoming upset with all of this attention paid to the birds. He came home one day to find an owl perched on his recliner and a mocking bird crapping all over the sofa. He stormed into the kitchen and found his wife trying to warm a small wren that had been found in the snow.
" I've had it!" He said. " I want a divorce!"
" Shhh!" His wife said. " Not in front of the chilled-wren!"

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-19T05:42:00.000-07:00

There is nothing new regarding my cancer situation. I feel great. The only problems are the congestion in my larnyx, and the lack of taste. My next big event will be March 25th when I have another PET scan.
It is supposed to go to seventy degrees today. We bought some shrubs and crepe myrtles yesterday. We will plant them today. It just feels so good to be outside. We had a Carolina Wren build a nest under the cover of our propane bottle again this year. The tiny male has a really loud song for such a little bird and he flys around telling the world where his territory is. I got an email from a friend yesterday that had a map showing the migration of the Ruby Throated Hummingbird. They are already at the North Carolina/Virginia border. We will put up our feeders today. Anybody that feeds them is aware of how fascinating they are to watch. They fight over who owns the feeder, and chase one another all over the yard. Last year I actually watched as two of them locked feet and rolled around on the ground.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me the following email which attempts to explain our current financial crisis.

Wall Street 101Derivative markets .... an understandable explanation:Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).Word gets around about Heidi's drink now pay later marketing strategy and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar and soon she has the largest sale volume for any bar in Detroit .By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDSand PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on security markets worldwide.Naive investors don't really understand the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, their prices continuously climb, and the securities become the top-selling items for some of the nations leading brokerage houses.One day, although the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the bank (subsequently fired due his negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.Heidi demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Therefore, Heidi cannot fulfillher loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKIBOND drop in price by 90 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %. The decreased bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans.The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment extensions and having invested in the securities are faced with writing off her debt and losing over 80% on her bonds. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 50 workers.The bank and brokerage houses are saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock negotiations by leaders from both political parties.The funds required for this bailout are obtained by a tax levied on employed middle-class "non-drinkers."Finally an explanation I understand.....and that folks, is how it came down! Scanned by the Barracuda Spam Firewall at CPWS Broadband

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

Rain, rain, rain! I planted peas, radishes, and lettuce last Thursday. It has rained every day since then. I measured an inch and a half so far. I am pretty confident that everything will have to be replanted. The peas seeds were laying on top of the ground. The soil had been washed away. I poked them back down with a stick but I am pretty sure that they are water logged and therefore dead. It is almost to late to replant the peas. The sun is supposed to shine tomorrow. It will take sunshine and a brisk wind to have an effect.
I am sick of looking at the inside of this house! I spent too much time looking at it this winter while I was recovering. I want to be outside where the birds are singing their little hearts out. Cardinals, wrens, and Mocking birds seem to be everywhere. The Spring Peepers are singing too. Please.... I need to be outside!!

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

My whole body is sore today! I did to much yard work yesterday. I have never been the kind of person who can go gently. I go full bore and then suffer the consequences. It is rainy and cold here today and will stay that way for the next four or five days. Ughh! I want to be outside. I am fed up with winter. The cold and drear affect me more after having spent three weeks in Florida.
I feel great. I still am having trouble with the congestion in my larnyx. I had some fried eggs with cinnamon toast for breakfast and could actually tell what I was eating. I could taste both. The flavor was very weak but recognizable. That gives me hope.
I wrote the following piece for our local paper. I don't know whether it will be published or not, but I thought that I would publish it here. A small part of the article is true.

My wife’s birthday is coming up next week. She asked me if I had gotten her a present yet. I said that I hadn’t. She showed me a flyer from Sears and said that there was a big sale on things for the home and that she would like some new every day silverware and dishes. Dollar signs began to run through my head. I somehow instinctively knew that this was gong to cost way more than I had intended to spend. I had been thinking that I might run to Peebles and see what they had on their sale rack in petites. New dish towels might also be nice. Maybe even a new mop. I knew that she would appreciate a good quality mop. She struggles so with the old one.
“What’s wrong with the silverware that we have dear?” I stupidly asked her.
“I mean the tines aren’t bent to badly on the forks, and I can straighten the bent ones in my vise!” The spoons don’t have holes in them yet! They still hold soup! The peas still stay on my knife!”
“ Look at them!” She stated. “They are horribly pitted and stained! They look worn!”
I refered her to the comments listed above. She scowled
“And what is wrong with the dishes sweety pie?” I stupidly asked her again.
“ They aren’t chipped! I don’t have to worry about cutting my tongue when I lick the plates and bowls!”
“Aren’t you sick of looking at the same design?” She asked. “You know that we have been using the same dishes for sixteen years?”
“Yes we have and that’s because we are very careful!” I answered.
Another scowl!
“You just don’t get it do you?” she stated.
She was right. I don’t get it, but then men never do seem to, “get it.” After all; Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, or Pluto, or somewhere way, way out there.
I know that my arguments are futile. I know that there will soon be shiny new silverware, and gleaming plates at our house. I know that this will happen, that is if I continue to care to eat.
And when all is said and done I know that I will truly enjoy the pleasurable feeling that one gets when inserting a shiny new knife full of peas in one’s mouth, especially when they are lifted from a sparkling new plate, and there will be no more little wounds on my lips from bent fork tines.
Happy birthday dear!
Amen
Tom Neiger

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

I got at the yard work early this morning. I planted peas, radishes, and lettuce. I will till the rest of the garden tomorrow to get it ready for the next crops.
I decided to buy a new lawn tractor. My old Simplicity is starting to wear out after 18 years. I am afraid to count on it any more. It was in the shop for repairs a couple times over the last 2 years. I bought a new John Deere.
My upper body strength is beginnining to return. I worked in the garden for 3 hours, mowed the lawn, fertilized the shrubs, cut up a small holly, and did some raking today. I feel fine.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

An adendum to the previous post; I asked about cancer support groups today and was told that they have slowly disolved. People get what they want in the way of support through the internet. There is information galore, and also lots of chat rooms there.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

I saw the ENT doctor today. I was concerned about the lump in my larnyx. I had been told that it was probably congestion caused by thickened fluids but wanted to be sure. As soon as I told him what the problem was he assured me that it wasn't anything to worry about, but he took a look anyway' He sprayed a novacain solution down a nostril and then ran a scope through my nose and down my throat. It was not an enjoyable experience. He said that everything was okay and that what I was experiencing was very normal. My oral secretions are thicker than other folks because of the radiation damage and the dry winter air has exacerbated the problem. In other words I have a giant, dried snot ball in my throat!! He told me that things would improve with summers heat and humidity. I was very relieved and very grateful.
My sister bought me a funny hat while I was in Florida. It is a visor with a full head of moused hair sticking out the top. It looks very real. I stopped at the radiation center today where I had been treated and wore this hat into the office. I reminded the nurses there that they had told me my hair might come back differently, and that I didn't like it and wanted to complain. They all got a laugh out of it. They are wonderful compassionate people there who deal with misery on a daily basis. I thought that they might enjoy a little levity and they did.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well duh!! I just had an idea ( they don't come as often as they used to) Why not go into Google and type, "Cancer support groups Gloucester, Va." I did that and sure enough there is a support group. I will call the phone number today

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-10T05:53:00.000-07:00

I am very concerned about this lump that has developed in my larnyx. I am clearing my throat all day. The lump is worse in the morning and seems to get smaller as the day goes on. I have had this for about a month. I have an appointment with the ENT doctor tomorrow. Hopefully it is just congestion caused by thickened oral fluids and mucous.
I have been thinking that it might be benefic1al for cancer patients to have a support group. I know that I feel better when I talk to another cancer patient. I feel connected to them. There are probably support groups near the bigger cities, but there are none in the Gloucester, Mathews area that I am aware of. I will talk to the doctor about this tomorrow.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

I worked in the yard today trying to catch up on the yard work after 3 weeks in Florida. There was certainly plenty to do. We had a severe storm while we were gone. The neighbor said that the winds were clocked at 60 MPH. A tall pine that was beside our driveway snapped off about 25 feet above the ground. It took out the pole with the night light that was on our neighbors property and then fell across his driveway. He had it cut up and removed before we got home. There was plenty of cleanup to do in the rest of the yard though. I found out that my upper body is very weak yet. My chain saw felt like it weighed 100 pounds. I worked from 9:30 this morning until 2:00 this afternoon and feel whipped. I guess that laying around for 4 1/2 months sapped my strength. I will have to go at it a little more slowly for a while. I am not used to that way of working. Usually I go at it full bore.
I will be working at the marina again this summer. I talked to my boss today. She said that she will need me for sure starting in May but that I could start coming in now and help clean the place up. I will consider starting next week. In the mean time there is plenty to do in my own yard. I bought seeds today and tilled a section of the garden. I will start building a fence tomorrow. The rabbits will get everything if I don't. The deer walked through my shrubbery by the front door and ate buds off of some of the azaleas. I told Pat that they may have to go. She said, "Yeah right! You are going to shoot a deer right in the middle of a subdivision?" I guess that I better not. They do taste so good though.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

Pat and I arrived home at 7:00 PM today. We could have been home earlier but we stopped at Medical College of Virginia to see a friend who had a severe motorcycle accident. Then we stopped and had dinner with Pat's mom at her house in Highland Springs. The temps all the way home were as warm if not warmer than some of the days in Florida. Three weeks of winter spent in Florida sure does get rid of the winter blahs!
I am still feeling very good. The congestion in my larnyx is worrying me though. I will make an appointment to see the Ear Nose and Throat doctor early in the week.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-03-06T16:13:00.000-08:00

We are on our way home from 3 weeks in Florida. We sure hated to lose that warmth and constant sunshine.
I got a lot of my strength back while in Florida. I rode my bicycle as much as 14 miles per day. My neck got a lot stronger. It was very weak at first, probably from the radiation.
I still have the congestion in my voice box. I will see the doctor when I get back. Hopefully it is no more than congestion caused by thickened oral secretions. I still have very little saliva and probably would have none if it wasn't for the medicine.
I still can taste very little. I can taste sweet and I can taste sour but even those things don't taste right. For example; I like Balsamic vinegar dressing. I can taste it but it surely doesn't taste as it should. I eat anyway. I start off each morning with my tube formula blended with honey, a banana and milk and drink it. Then I might have toast and jelly which has no flavor. The rest of the day I eat what everyone else eats but I don't snack because there isn't much food value in junk food and it doesn't taste right anyway, so why bother. I might have another shake sometime during the day also. This depends on how much food I can force down.
Anyway; I feel wonderful! I will have another PET scan on the 25th of March. Hopefully that will come back negative!!!

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-02-26T07:06:00.000-08:00

Pat and I have been in Florida for the past 2 weeks and haven't been able to get to a computer so I have not updated my blog. Sorry.
I feel wonderful. My weight is holding steady. I still have almost no taste and very little saliva. I do have a problem though that started to develop recently. I seem to have a wad of something in my voice box. I am constantly clearing my throat. It is always worse in the morning and mostly gone by the late afternoon. It is never completely gone however. It was beginning to worry me. I guess that I will probably worry every time that I have anything strange going on with my body. I called the radiation doctor this morning and talked to his nurse. She told me that what I was experiencing was common and was caused by the thickening of my oral fluids. She asked me whether I was staying well hydrated and I said that I probably wasn't. She told me to drink lots of fluids to thin the mucous. So today I will chug-a-lug. She also suggested Benedryl. I will purchase some today.
I have gone to several meetings while in Florida. I met a woman the other night who obviously was just getting her hair back. She had had chemo for breast cancer. I met another woman who was 30 years old and had had a brain tumor removed 9 years earlier. It seems that We are surrounded by cancer and cancer surviviors.
I have been getting lots of exercise. I ride my bike several miles most days. As I said before; I feel great!

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-02-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

The feeding tube was removed today. I feel like a whole person again! I thought that some stitches would be needed, but I was wrong. The doc says that the hole will heal in three or four days. In the mean time there will be some seepage, and a 4x4 bandage has been applied and will need to be changed daily. My weight has actually gone up a couple of pounds. We had pork roast with mashed potatos and gravy for dinner. I couldn't taste any of it. I pray that I will get my taste back some day. I can taste sweet though and am happy about that.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-02-08T17:25:00.000-08:00

The doctor doesn't want me to have the tube removed yet. He says that many of the people who have it removed this early start losing weight and then want it put back in. I have an appointment with him on Wednesday. I will decide by then. I really am getting enough calories though. I eat what everyone else is eating even if I can't taste it, and I mix up two shakes a day by using a can of formula each time blended with fruit, honey and fortified milk or yogurt. Each shake gives me approx. 550 calories. I haven't used the tube in 3 days. I am confident that I can eat enough. I believe that the hypnosis has helped. My only concern with having the tube removed is that the PET scan on March 25th might show something and then I would have to have it put back in. Still; I don't know whether I want to leave it in for 5 more weeks. It really is an inconvenience. The dressing has to be changed every day even if I am not using the tube for feeding. It has to be flushed every day with water also, and I am afraid that I am going to get it caught on something and pull it out.
The temperature today approaced 70 degrees. My sister and brother-in-law are visiting. We went to York town and walked all along the river, and then we took a drive down to Jamestown. Motorcycles and convertibles were everywhere. Everyone wanted to be outside today. The warmth felt wonderful

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-02-04T18:39:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have been trying to think of ways that I can get my oral calorie count up to 2500 calories a day. I want to get rid of this stomach tube. I decided to try taking the tube formula orally. I was afraid that it might have a terrible taste so I put a can of it in the blender then added a banana and 2 heaping tablespoons of honey. It tasted really good. I couldn't believe it. I ate enough today, even without that can of formula, that I got about 1800 calories anyway. I only used 2 cans of formula today. There are 160 calories in an 8 ounce glass of grape juice, and 160 in an 8 ounce glass of whole milk so I began drinking 2 glasses of each today. Both of these items are easy to get down. I also found that I can increase the calorie count of a sweet potato by slathering it with butter and then adding a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar. The rest of the food that I ate today was no different than taking medicine. It had virtually no flavor. I ate it because I had too, but I got it dwn okay. Maybe this hypnosis thing is helping. I wil try to get another session before I leave for vacation on the 12th of February. I will call the doctor tomorrow and make an appointment to get this tube removed.
I had another great day today. It's amazing how joyous life can be when I live only one day at a time.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-02-02T05:31:00.000-08:00

My taste seems to be coming back a little. Food doesn't taste like it should, but most of it does have some taste. I had oat meal cooked with raisins yesterday. I used fortified milk and a generous amount of honey, and it tasted pretty good. I experimented with other foods during the course of the day. Olives had a flavor but it was different from what I remembered. I had shrimp with cocktail sauce and could taste the cocktail sauce just barely. I am hoping that this is a begining and that things will steadily improve. I have been making myself eat 1000 or more calories a day even if it doesn't taste good. The other 1400 comes through the tube. That ends up being roughly four eight ounce cans a day. I have talked to other folks who didn't have the tube installed and for the most part they aren't doing well with their weight. It is really hard to force yourself to eat when all food tastes unpleasent. Actually the tube is not that unpleasant. I am certainly glad that I chose to have it and would highly recommend it to others.
I sent an email to the hypnotherapist today asking her for another session. I am not ready to give up on that yet. My returning taste may be because of the hypnosis.
I feel wonderful. I have told people that I have never felt better both physically and mentally. My ears are still a little plugged. My taste is still way off. My mouth gets terribly dry from about 3:00 AM until I get up, and my throat is still a little sore and swollen. None of this stuff gets in the way of the joy that I feel every day. I have been blessed and I know it. I still live in today. Tomorrow will take care of itself

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-28T13:19:00.001-08:00

I went to the dentist for my six month check up today. He had given me a prescription tooth paste just before my treatments began. He had told me that I would have to be very scrupulous regarding my dental care while I was undergoing treatment or I could develop major problems. Without saliva my teeth and gums would be suseptible to staph and other infections. I followed the regimen that he had prescribed for me pretty religiously, even when the chemo had sapped all of my strength.
He was impressed. He found nothing at all that concerned him and told me that I had made his day. I told him that he certainly had made my day.

I don't know yet what to say about the results of the hypnosis. I did eat a sweet potato with butter and salt and some dilled green beans last night. I can't say that they were enjoyable, but they weren't bad. I had a fried egg and a piece of toast for breakfast and a very small salad for lunch. None of this was intolerable, but it certainly was far from pleasant. I know that it is early and will see what develops. Believe me; I certainly want food to taste good.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

I recieved a call from Cathy the dietician that works through the cancer center yesterday afternoon. She wanted to give me some information on some studies that have been done with cancer patients who have temporarily lost their sense of taste due to radiation or chemo. She stated that Zinc Sulphate has been proven to improve the sense of taste in a lot of people. I was glad ot get that news and will be purchasing some Zinc tomorrow when we go into Gloucester.
I also had my first appointment with the hypnotherapist today. She thinks that I may be an excellent candidate for hypnosis. We talked about why it doesn't work for some folks and she stated that a person really needs to want the change. Some smokers for example have a deep physicological dependence on cigarettes. Their conscious mind wants to quit but their subconcious mind doesn't. In my case, I really do want to get my sense of taste back. There is no physicological reason for me not to want food to be palatable.
She aked me a lot of questions about food two days ago. She used this info to prepare my session today.
My session began when I lay down on a massage table. She began by taking me through some deep breathing relaxation exercises. This took several minutes as she kept telling me that the relaxation was moving from my head to the bottom of my feet. Next, she had me go to some beautiful place in nature that I remembered. I chose a place along the Black River in Michigan where I camped when I was a boy. She had me visualize all of the wild life, and the beautiful scenery. She then told me that some sparkling golden stairs had appeared in front of me, and that I would be walking down these stairs one at a time. She said that I would be totally relaxed when I reached the bottom. She paused me on each step as she repeated to me that I was becoming more and more relaxed. When I reached the bottom stair she asked me to visualize a large table spread with all of the foods that I enjoyed. She asked me to sample each one and commented how enjoyable each item was. She told me that they would be enjoyable even if they didn't taste as I remembered them. We spent several minutes here before she brought me back by counting backward from five to one telling me that I would become more awake with each number. When she reached the number one she asked me to open my eyes. The session was over, but we talked for a while. She informed me that being hypnotized doesn't make a person unconscious and that I would remember everything. She stated that that wouldn't matter and that we were working on my subconscious mind. She told me that she was watching my eyes while I was hypnotized and that they showed her that I was responding. She also stated that it might take two or three sessions. My appointment was at 10:30 this morning and it is now 5:15. I haven't eaten anything yet. We have had too much to do today and haven't been home. I will try a sweet potato slathered in butter shortly and see how that tastes. The lady did inspire confidence enough that I will see her again. In the mean time we will see what hapens.

oral cancer, my personal journey

2009-01-26T13:16:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling a little better each day. In fact, most days I feel as good as I have ever felt. I was experiencing slight nausea last week. I had noo idea why. My diet and everything else was the same. I attrbutted it to being just the way it is when recovering. The last few days I have felt great! I even went to the capitol on a school bus today with other teachers, parents, grandparents, and even a few students to make our voices heard concerning budget cuts for the school system. The hardest part of the whole trip was sitting in a Five Guys hamburger joint watching some friends scarf down some burgers and fries while I drank an Insure. That experience was down right painful. I can eat but food still has no flavor so why bother? I do eat a little every day, but mostly still use the tube. I have gotten to where I can taste toothpaste. Big Whoopppeee! Who wants to taste toothpaste?
I see a hypnotherapist tomorrow. Hopefully she can make me believe that eating is enjoyable. I don't expect her to make pizza taste like pizza. I just want her to convince ne that eating is a pleasureable experience. Hoefully she can help until my taste comes back.

oral cancer My personal journey

2009-01-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I felt a little down. I guess that I was tired. I normally sleep well from bed time until about 3:00 AM. After that dry mouth wakes me up about every forty five minutes. I have a glass of water on the night stand and take a sip and then go back to sleep. It is that way until I get up at about eight. I didn't force myself to eat very much solid food yesterday. I was down enough that I didn't feel like fighting making myself force food down so I relied on the tube.
I am feeling stronger. I try to walk about a half a mile a day at a fairly brisk pace. Usually my legs feel a little rubbery afterward, but not yesterday. In fact, I walked farther yesterday than I have been walking.
My throat is mildly sore, but isn't to bad. Other than that I feel pretty good.
I Probably won't update this site on a daily basis. I don't want to blather. I will write every couple of days unless I really have something to say.

Oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-21T05:19:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling much better lately. The nausea that I was suffering is almost nonexistent. I thought that the nausea may be caused by taking too much formula at one time. So I cut back to a can and a half at a feeding. I also have begun to eat more and to take fewer cans of formula throughout the day. Yesterday I had a can for breakfast along with eggs, cheese, and half and half. I had another can and a half of formula later and then ate stir fry for dinner, and had another can of formula before bed. I was taking eight cans a day and am trying to cut it down to four augmented by food.
My taste is changing a tiny bit. Stuff still doesn't taste good, but it tastes differntly than it did. Toothpaste now tastes slightly sweet where before it had no taste whatever. I pray that I will get my taste back soon but am not counting on it.
Yesterday I was thinking that it could be months before my taste returns and I got thinking about how long that would be and then I remembered that I can't live in the future. I can certainly make it through today though. I must live one day at a time.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-16T04:52:00.000-08:00

I felt nauseated for most of the day yesterday. I think that it was caused by the formula that I take through my tube. I have been taking two cans at a time, every few hours. There are 355 calories in each can and I need 2500 calories a day to maintain my weight. I took two cans at 8:30 AM and two more at noon. I started to feel badly after the noon feeding. I have been taking Prilosec every day also but haven't taken any of that in the last two days. Maybe that is the problem. I just don't know. Maybe that is just the way it's going to be for the next few weeks. Perhaps it's all just part of the treatment. Some days I feel wondefrul. Other days I feel like crap!
I said in a previous blog that I would include a summary of my entire treatment and will include that now.

ORAL CANCER. MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

I was diagnosed with cancer at the base of my tongue and in one lymph gland back in Oct. of this year. The treatment for this kind of cancer is thirty seven radiation treatments and three large doses of chemo spread over a seven week period. Treatment began on Nov. 4th. A mask was designed to fit my head. This mask allowed no room for movement and was attached securely to the treatment table. It is a claustrophobic experience at first. The machine that delivers the radiation passed in an arc over my head. It stopped in six different positions and the whole procedure took about thirty minutes. The nurses have a large selection of music and will play what ever kind of music is desired. This helped me relax.
I was told that my throat would possibly get too sore for me to swallow, and that my taste buds would be affected which would alter my taste. It was strongly suggested that I have a feeding tube placed in my stomach which I did. That procedure wasn’t much fun either.
The chemo was administered in three large doses. The first dose was given just before the first radiation treatment. Subsequent doses came at approx. two week intervals. The chemo hit me hard. Some programs administer the chemo A little each week and folks don’t get sick from it. My doctor said that they have found that the best thing for my type and location of cancer was three large doses spread evenly over the course of the radiation treatments. The first chemo treatment made me very sick for about five days. The second round made me sick for about eight days. I am still not completely over the lingering nausea from the last treatment and the residual effects of the radiation and it has been about eighteen days.
The complications caused by all of this were annoying and in some cases severe. I was told that I must be scrupulous with my dental care. I would have little to no saliva to protect my teeth. My saliva glands would be knocked out of condition for several weeks and one of them may not come back at all. I would have to brush and floss often and would need to brush my teeth with a special fortified tooth paste each night before bed, after which I could not rinse. This was uncomfortable. My ears are plugged with fluid. I am taking steroids at this time for this condition. They are not working. I will have to have tubes put in each ear. Constipation was severe and drastic methods had to be used. Food tastes awful. With no taste buds one would think that there would be no taste, but that is not the case. Eating presents a real challenge. Most of my feeding is done through the stomach tube. I have become proficient at doing it myself. I need 2500 calories a day to maintain my weight. I am struggling to do that. The chemo doctor said that the average weight loss for someone with my type of cancer was forty pounds. That scared me and I have held my loss to about eight pounds. I have lost a few more pounds over the last few days because I have gotten behind on my feedings. Once I do that it is hard to catch up. I will be more diligent from now on.
The last radiation treatment was administered on Dec 24th. The effects from the chemo started to wear off on the second or third of Jan. I am feeling better as time moves on. I want to get back to my normal life but don’t have the energy to do a lot yet. Getting over this is not like getting over the flu where you get better each day. It is much slower.
Actually, according to my doctors, I did extremely well. They joked about making me their poster child. The radiation makes some folks throats so sore that morphine must be used. My throat was treatable with Motrin on most occasions. I did have to use Vicodin on a few occasions. Some folks lose their ability to swallow and have to go through therapy to relearn how. I did not. Some folks lose lots of weight.( the avg. weight loss is forty pounds as I said earlier.) I lost eight pounds. The doctors said that It was because of my positive attitude. That may have contributed but I say that it was because of all of the caring people who were praying for me. I truly believe that prayer made the real difference
Anyway, I am recovering. I am looking forward to a normal life again. I just need patience which I have always had in very limited supply.

oral cancer, My personal journey

2009-01-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

Before I started my treatmentI had the oppurtunity to talk to another person who had gone through exactly the same cancer treatment that I went through. He told me that the treatment was awful, but that I would get through it and that it would be just a blip on the radar shortly. He was right. I never thought that I would make it through. The treatments were scary and made me very sick, but they are over for the most part, and the whole experience was just a blip. I will be adding a synopsis of what I experienced. If any readers of my blog are suffering with cancer and wish to talk about their situation my email address is tneiger@inna.net. I would be glad to offer all of the support that I can.

ORAL CANCER. MY PERSONAL JOURNEY SYNOPSIS

I was diagnosed with cancer at the base of my tongue and in one lymph gland back in Oct. of this year. The doctors told me that this cancer was most probably caused by the combination of cigarettes and alcohol even though I quit smoking twenty one years ago and quit drinking almost seven years ago. The treatment for this kind of cancer is thirty seven radiation treatments and three large doses of chemo spread over a seven week period. Treatment began on Nov. 4th. A mask was designed to fit my head. This mask allowed no room for movement and was attached securely to the treatment table. It is a claustrophobic experience at first. The machine that delivers the radiation passed in an arc over my head. It stopped in six different positions and the whole procedure took about thirty minutes. I received a treatment every week day for seven weeks.
I was told that my throat would possibly get too sore for me to swallow, and that my taste buds would be affected which would alter my taste. It was strongly suggested that I have a feeding tube placed in my stomach which I did. That procedure wasn’t much fun either. Although now I simply consider it a temporary part of my body.
The chemo was administered in three large doses. The first dose was given just before the first radiation treatment. Subsequent doses came at approx. two week intervals. The chemo hit me hard. Some programs administer the chemo A little each week and folks don’t get sick from it. My doctor said that they have found that the best thing for my type and location of cancer was three large doses spread evenly over the course of the radiation treatments. The first chemo treatment made me very sick for about five days. The second round made me sick for about eight days. I am still not completely over the lingering nausea from the last treatment and the residual effects of the radiation and it has been about eighteen days.
The complications caused by all of this were annoying and in some cases severe. I was told that I must be scrupulous with my dental care. I would have little to no saliva to protect my teeth. My saliva glands would be knocked out of condition for several weeks and one of them may not come back at all. I would have to brush and floss often and would need to brush my teeth with a special fortified tooth paste each night before bed, after which I could not rinse. This was uncomfortable. My sleep was fitful. I spent half of most nights wrapped in a blanket in my recliner. My ears are plugged with fluid. I am taking steroids at this time for this condition. They are not working. I will have to have tubes put in each ear. Constipation was severe and drastic methods had to be used. Food still tastes awful. With no taste buds one would think that there would be no taste, but that is not the case. Eating presents a real challenge. Most of my feeding is done through the stomach tube. I have become proficient at doing it myself. I need 2500 calories a day to maintain my weight. I am struggling to do that. The chemo doctor said that the average weight loss for someone with my type of cancer was forty pounds. (That scared me, as I only weiged 175) and I have held my loss to about eight pounds. I have lost a few more pounds over the last few days because I have gotten behind on my feedings. Once I do that it is hard to catch up. I will be more diligent from now on.
The last radiation treatment was administered on Dec 24th. The effects from the chemo started to wear off on the 5th or 6th of Jan. I am feeling better as time moves on. I want to get back to my normal life but don’t have the energy to do a lot yet. Getting over this is not like getting over the flu where you get better each day. It is much slower.
Actually, according to my doctors, I did extremely well. They joked about making me their poster child. The radiation makes some folks throats so sore that morphine must be used. My throat was treatable with Motrin on most occasions. I did have to use Vicoden on a few occasions. Some folks lose their ability to swallow and have to go through therapy to relearn how. I did not. Some folks lose lots of weight.( the avg. weight loss is forty pounds as I said earlier.) I lost eight pounds. The doctors said that my success was because of my positive attitude. That may have contributed but I say that it was because of all of the caring people who were praying for me. I truly believe that prayer made the real difference.
Anyway, I am recovering. I am looking forward to a normal life again. I just need patience which I have always had in very limited supply.
I have a blog site that I have devoted to my cancer treatment. I tried to update it daily. However my computer crashed shortly after the third round of chemo and I was to sick to do anything about it for several days. I have a new computer now and have tried to update the site on a daily basis. The updates may not come as frquently as there may not be much to report. Anyway...So far so good.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

I feel great today! I attended church yesterday and was asked to help usher as one of the ushers didn't show up. It felt really good to be involved again. All of the well wishers at church had a very positive effect on me. I felt really good yesterday also. Feeling good really feels good after all of thse weeks of feeling rotten! We attended a concert during the afternoon and then went to Subway with friends to get a sandwich. I didn't even try to eat. I waited until I got home to the comfort of my tube. :?)
I had an appointment with my chemo doctor today. My blood pressure was excellent and my blood tests showed that I was pretty close to normal in all areas. The doctor said that I can do what ever I want. My body will tell me when I am over doing it.
We stopped in to say hello to the ladies in radiation also. Everyone was wonderful. They all thought that I looked great which made me feel good.
The doctor said that I might still have a day or two where I just don't feel really good. She said that was all part of it.
My next hurdle will be somewhere around Mar 15 when I will have another PET scan which will tell the docs wheter they got it all or whether it may have gone somewhere else. I will certainly try to live my policy of one day at atime between now and then.
We will leave for three weeks in Fla somewhere around the 12th of Feb. The thought of warm breezes and shorts are filling my thoughts. I can't wait! Today I feel joy!

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-10T05:42:00.000-08:00

I was getting undressed last night and my wife commented that she thought that I was losing weight. This caused me some concern. I weighed myself this morning and found that I have lost weight. The scales showed 165 pounds. Approximately a week ago I believe that I weighed 171. I have been shooting for 2500 calories a day. Supposedly this is what a man of my age and build requires to maintain weight. There have been days when I haven't made that amount because I get behind on my feeding schedule and then it is hard to catch up again. Of course the other thing that I think about is whether the cancer has spread to someplace else. I took two cans of formula through my tube as soon as I got up this morning and will try to feed every two and a half hours. I will shoot for 3000 calories for a few days and watch the scales. I have an appointment with the chemo doc on Monday. I know in my heart that I would not lose weight if food tasted like it was supposed to. I choke down what ever I do take by mouth so therefore don't eat a lot. I rely on the tube.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-09T15:29:00.000-08:00

We were heading for the Outer Banks this afternoon but only got about an hour down the road when I started to feel weak. We decided that it was best if we came home. What a bummer! So here I am, staring at the walls again.
I just finished reading an excellent book titled American Buffalo, by Steven Rinella. Steven is a hunter as well as a very capable writer. He was selected , by lottery to hunt buffalo in Alaska. The book alternates chapters. One chapter may start out talking about preperations for his hunt. The next chapter talks about the history of the buffalo from prehistoric times until the present, and then back to another stage of his hunt. He got some of his history from the book Oregon Trail written by Francis Parkman in the late eighteen hundreds. He made this book sound fascinating. It was published in it's present form in the nineteen sixties. Fortunately our town library had the book and I began reading it just a short time ago. I have always bee intrigued with what it must have been like back in the days of the western migration with indians, buffalo, wagon trains, etc. This book promises to be a good read in that regard.

oral cancer, my personal journey

2009-01-09T09:52:00.000-08:00

I am feeling a little down today. I expect to feel a signifacant difference in how I feel every day but that obviously isn"t how it works. Someone who is getting over the flu feels remarkably better each day. It isn't working that way with me. I am feeling better but am not feeling better quickly enough for me. I am impatient for sure. I have also seen the inside of this house to much. I told my wife that I need to get out of here and go someplace. She said, "let's go to the Outer Banks. We can leave in an hour." So that's what we will do. It will be hard packing tube formula and medicines, and very inconvienient with eating, but we can do it. Perhaps the wind swept beaches of the outer banks will offer some tranquility. Nature has always given me answers when I am down. We will leave for Fla. in mid Feb. Man I am looking forward to warm weather and shorts!
I talked to a friend re my taste problem. I told him that acupuncture was recommended as a possibe treatment. He told me that he is a firm believer. He had shoulder pain and was treated by a doc for over a year with no results. He was told that he was going to have to live with the pain. He went to an acupunturist and was cured after two treatments. Anything is worth a try.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

I felt really good this morning. I received my new combination printer, scanner, copier late last evening and decided to install it this morning. I usually dread this kind of thing because invariabally something doesn't work. This time everything went smoothly. I called my brother-in-law to see if he wanted to go on a short hike through a nature reserve that is near us. He wanted to go so we went on a forty five minute hike. I was tired when we got done. I am still a little weak. My throat is getting a little better every day.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

I get a free hour long full body massage once a month through my cancer center. Today was the day. Wow! the lady has magic in her fingers and hands. They used a wheelbarrow to take me to the car afterward. Then they poured me into the trunk. They tucked my tongue back in at the last minute so that they didn't close the lid on it. I was relaxed to say the least.
I asked my therapist if she knew any hypno-therapists. I told her about my sense of taste and wanted to know whether a hypno-therapist might help. She does in fact know one and will call me on Monday with the info. She also suggested acupuncture which I hadn't considered.

oral cancer, my personal journey

2009-01-06T16:28:00.000-08:00

A brief note: My dinner tonight was baked beans pureed with green beans, and half and half. It should certainly be an explosive evening! I am certainly glad that I have no sense of smell. I predict that she will not make this recipe again for me!!! What was she thinking? :?)

oral cancer, my personal journey

2009-01-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

I don't feel very good again today. I never know what I will feel like on a given day. I was told that the chemo has a cumulative effect. I felt badly for five days after the first round of chemo. I felt badly for eight days after the second round and it has now been twenty two days since the last round and I am still not completely back on my feet. Of course the effects from the radiation are still causing some of the way that I feel also. I am not a person who sits around. I am ready to get back to normal again.
A friend who was a counselor for many years recommended a hypno-therapist that she had dealt with over the years. She talked to him about the possibility of using hypnosis to restore some sense of taste. My thoughts are that my brain remembers what things taste like and that possibily hypnosis might trick it into producing a taste when I eat something, or at least fool me into thinking things don't taste as badly as they do. He said that he knew of no studies that had been done on that subject and said for me to wait three months to see what happens and if nothing changes call him and he would be interested in experimenting. He told my friend that his wife had similar treatments and that it took ten months for her taste to return.
I don't want to wait that long. I want this tube out of my stomach and am afraid that I won't be able to force enough food past my gag reflex. I am still taking five cans of supplement through my tube each day. I must get it lower. I had scrambled eggs blended with cheese and yogurt for breakfast along with one can of supplement through the tube. Last night's dinner was pureed ham blended with baked potato, green beans and half and half. My wife and I have talked it over and think that we should probably cook dinner for two just as we used to do but run mine through the food processor. Yum! Don't that just sound wunnerful?
The computer repairman is coming out later today. He said that my old computer is shot, but he was able to save all of my data which was a relief. He is going to help me install some things on my machine today.

Oral cancer, My personal journey

2009-01-05T11:31:00.000-08:00

Today is Monday and I have just returned from Best Buy in Newport News. I was told on Saturday that my computer was ready to go, but it wasn't. I have dial up and there was no modem. Best Buy gave me one for free which was nice of them.
I am feeling rough today. I don't know why. I guess that I will be experiencing these ups and downs for a while yet. I never know from one day to the next how I will feel. My wife is in Richmond today so I had to feed myself through the tube. I thought that I would make a mess but didn't. I was down right proud! I feel like a nap and am going to take one now.

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-05T11:24:00.001-08:00

I Purchased my new computer today (Saturday) and have spent the last 3 hours setting it up. It ain't gramma's computer that's for sure!!! This thing has 4gb of memory and a 21 inch flat screen. The case is about 1/4 the size of my other computer and the computer is at least 3 times as fast as the old one. It is so quiet. The other computer sounded like it was getting ready to escape earth's orbit. I spent an hour trying to find microsoft word pad, and finally stumbled across it moments ago.
Anyway; I am starting to turn the corner. I feel a little better each day. I actually felt a twinge of joy yesterday. I have been through more crap than I thought I could stand. Every aspect of my life was changed in some way for several weeks. Loss of taste, Taking all my food through a tube in my stomach, The restrictions on life caused by having a tube feeding every 2 and 1/2 hours. severe, severe constipation, sickness from the chemo, waking up in the middle of the night to take medicine, brushing my teeth each night with fortified tooth paste and not being able to rinse, keeping track of an endless list of medicines to take each day, a very sore throat, partial loss of hearing from fluid caused by the radiation, heavy ringing in my ears,
not having enough energy to do much more than sit in a chair and stare at the tv., dealing with thrush all through my mouth caused by the chemo, sleeplessness, etc. I am not complaining. My symptoms were a great deal less than others who have gone through the same treatment. I told the doctor yesterday that I believe that prayer was the difference. There were a lot of very caring people praying for me. He told me that my attitude also made a significant difference. I did try to keep my spirits up, and my daily blogging helped a lot also. I was really bummed out when my computer crashed at my lowest point. I simply did not have the energy to do anything about it at the time.
My next doctor's apoointment is Feb 4th. I am being set up for a PET scan on or about the 15th March. That will tell us wheter we can breath easy again. Until that time it will be one day at a time, . With god's help and strength, My wife's unbelievable dedication and love, and all of the concerned people praying and helping out I have made it this far and I am very grateful!

oral cancer. My personal journey

2009-01-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

oral cancer, My personal journey

2008-12-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

My computer is still down. I made it in to the library today to try and update my blog a little. I have felt so badly since my last round of chemo that I simply didn't have the will or the energy to go in search of a new computer. This last round of chemo will not turn me loose. I feel like crap and have a terrible sore throat also which seems to be getting worse daily. I was told that the nadir would be about 2 to 3 weeks after my last radiation which was on the 24th of Dec.
I am sweating as I type this. My wife says that I look grey and ashen.
I am on vicodin for my throat. I will alternate that with Motrin every 2 hours. I wake up every day expecting to feel better but every day is the same.
All feeding is done through the tube now. I take only water orally. I must continue to swallow or I will lose the capacity to swallow. That is scary, and I will do my best.
Freinds have offered their computers and I may take them up on the deal. I went to Walmart today to look at computers but they have no selection at all, and I ran out of energy so I am heading home now. I will try to get to the library again soon.