the emotional rollercoaster

It seems as though I have lost control of my emotions. I have been very upbeat on some days, and then without any reason I find myself having a bummer of a day. I have tremendous support from family, friends and fellow church members. I try to turn my will and my life over to the care of god. Some days I am more successful at this than others, but I try anyway. Tuesday I was feeling very upbeat because of my positive dental x-rays. This lasted until Friday afternoon when I was on my way to my daughter's house in Richmond. I just didn't have a whole lot of energy. I went to bed fairly early that night and woke up feeling down. I just couldn't seem to shake the funk. I came home in the early afternoon and my wife said that a guy who I had been trying to contact had called and would only be home for a few more minutes. He has a serious drinking problem and I was trying to reach out to him and offer him some help through AA. I talked to him for maybe fifteen minutes and listened to his depressing story, after which I hung up and simply started to cry. Tears seem to be very near the surface a lot lately. They most often come after another person shows me that they care, or tells me that they are praying for me. It touches me more than anyone who hasn't experienced it could possibly know. I have a prescription for xanax. In the past I have taken a small portion of one of these pills on nights where I couldn't quiet my mind. Lately I have been taking a whole pill before going to bed. I am being switched to Ativin shortly. I am wondering if maybe the xanax could be causing the bad days. I will find out shortly when I switch. More than likely though it is just part of the whole cancer thing. We will see.