feeding tube installed! Whooppee!

I had my feeding tube installed yesterday. I, for some reason thought that it would be no big deal. WRONG! We didn’t have a consultation with the doc before hand. So we didn’t know what to expect. We both thought that there wouldn’t be much to it.
The process begins with the insertion of an IV and the vein kept rolling which meant that she had to chase it with the needle. Can’t tell you how much I enjoyed that!!
Next I was wheeled into the operating room where the two docs told me what they were going to do. A nurse sprayed my throat with what tasted and felt like battery acid! I gagged and choked! Then she did it again obviously assuming that I hadn’t enjoyed it enough with the first spray! The IV was started but it never put me out. I got to enjoy the whole process. The tube with a light was slid down my throat, But the doc made a wrong turn and the tube started to go up the back of my nose which caused bleeding. {It is still swollen and sore today} The light finally arrived in my stomach and illuminated it so that the outside doc knew where to cut. The whole process took about ten minutes. I was placed in recovery until I got enough of my senses back so that I would be able to identify which one of the three women standing near my bed was my wife. I picked the right one on only the second try and was wheeled to the car.
So now I have a tube protruding from just below my sternum and it drains into a bag which is tucked into my underwear. This is really, really inconvenient! My stomach started cramping up on the way home. The doc had given me a prescription for Tylenol with codeine and we got that filled.
The rest of the night was spent trying to keep the bag from disconnecting from the tube. It got loose once and dumped some fluid on the dining room floor. My wife said,” Oh Goody!”
A heavy pad was placed on my side of the bed in case the tube came loose again. It did that at about 1:30 and I said the hell with this and threw the bag away and left the tube pinched off.
The other enjoyable thing was that I wasn’t able to eat from midnight Monday until day light Wednesday. I couldn’t even drink water. Today I am allowed broth and Ensure and other liquids. I did have a little squash soup which hasn’t affected me so far. Tomorrow I can eat what I want but since everything tastes like gray clay anyway I really don’t care.
A good friend took me for my radiation treatment today. It was nice to have someone other than my wife to talk to now and then. I took him into the radiation room so that he could see what it was all about. He watched as they attached my mask to the table. I don’t think that he wants any part of it!!