Thirty five colored marbles

I have kept a glass of thirty five colored marbles by my bed since starting the radiation. One marble for each radiation treatment. Each morning I remove one from the glass. I removed the fourth marble this morning. They are moving much to slowly!!!! I didn’t sleep well last night. The bloated feeling from the constipation kept me awake off and on all night. I took a couple of Ativan during the night to help me fall back asleep but they only worked for a while.
I had my radiation treatment at 9:45 this morning. I have found that I am much more relaxed during this procedure after taking an Ativan.
I talked with the radiation doctor after the treatment. He basically just wanted to see how I was doing, which is as good as could be expected. I am somewhat weaker than I was yesterday and believe that it is because of lack of sleep. I also talked to the chemo nurse who gave me some tips on the constipation problem.
I did some very light yard work today which wore me out quickly.
I Just woke up from a brief nap. I have difficulty falling asleep. I find that the cancer thoughts are always present even if just below the surface.
I was telling the radiation doctor how many people have told me that they too had suffered from cancer and have been cancer free for a long while. He said that cancer is just a disease. It doesn’t carry the same threats that it used to, and there are many happy survivors. I plan on being one!