Oral cancer. My personal journey

I thought that I would feel better today. I was very wrong. The chemo is still kicking my tail. I felt very discouraged. “What’s the use?” It was all that I could do to make it to my radiation treatment this morning. I had virtually no strength. I have gotten a little strength back as the day goes on though. The doctors and nurses say that I am doing very well. I have maintained my weight for the past two weeks, which is good. I am also not in much pain.
I told the doctors that it was getting harder and harder for me to eat. Food tastes horrid and I am starting to gag. The doctor and dietician think that I should start using the feeding tube although it will still be very important for me to keep using my throat. I was told that the end results are better for people that keep some food going down the normal path. I will do my best.
I will be half way through the radiation tomorrow. I will have 17 more treatments to go.
I am trying to find a hypno-therapist. I want to see if there is a chance that hypnosis could make a difference with the way that food tastes. Maybe hypnosis can at least take the edge off of the bad taste and make food a little more palatable. Maybe I am reaching but anything is worth a shot.
There was an ad for one of those eleven billion calorie mushroom burgers on TV The other day. I have the vision of that burger implanted in my mind. I want that taste!!!! Now Dam it!
One day at a time.