Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I was surprised when Rick Wagoner was asked to step down from his position as CEO of General Motors. I have said all along that GM needed some outsiders on their board. It has been a good old boy organization since way before I hired in to work for them in 1964. College grads were hired and indoctrinated in the GM method. The secret to promotion seemed to be to support your boss whether he was wrong or right. Never take a stand on anything, and slowly but surely one would get promoted to their highest level of incompetance. Don't dare to think outside the box. That just wasn't the GM way!
What surprised me was that Wagoner was asked to step down and yet all of the big shot bankers were simply handed bushel baskets full of money and weren't even asked what they planned to do with it. They ran the banking system into the ground and yet there they sit. How come their hides haven't been nailed to the barn door?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

My arms and lungs are sore this morning. I have been doing back flips and hollering for two days!! It all started right after I got the good news about being cancer free. I was told that all the treatment that I went through would be no more than a blip on the radar and that is true. It doesn't seem possible that I went through all of that hell, but it is worth it all now.
I want to thank everyone who prayed for my recovery. It worked.
Oh well; I'm off to do some hand springs and hollering!!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

Pat and I are in Ohio visiting my daughter and the grandkids. We got a call while traveling yesterday morning from the ENT doctor. He told me that everything was clear and that there was no cancer in my body. I knew that I was really nervous about getting the results, but didn't realize how strung out I was until I heard the great news. It was a significant emotional event!!! What a relief! It was like getting a new life. We called everyone from our cell phone and told them the news. Pat Had to do most of the talking. I was too shook up to talk much for a while.
Thanks to all of the people who prayed for us. It was the difference.
I was introduced to a lady this morning whose husband has inoperable lung cancer. Believe me...I can empathize!!! It seems like cancer is everywhere any more, or maybe I am just much more aware

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I had my PET scan this morning. The nurse told me that I would have the results later today or by tomorrow. It is 9:45 PM and I haven't heard anything. I did not have a good feeling about the test. Maybe it was because I have been away from treatment for so long and being exposed to a hospital again just made me uncomfortable. I felt depressed today until I went to visit a member of our church who is a fellow sufferer. I have heard it said many times that when I am feeling sorry for myself or when I am feeling down the best remedy is to go do something to help someone. It worked. I felt better when I left his house.
I am not sure that the doctors realize what someone like myself is going through while waiting for the news. My mind will not quiet down. I am imagining all sorts of things. I am on pins and needles. I imagine that the doctor would call right away if the news was good and delay the call if the news was bad. Who wants to deliver bad news. It will be xanax for me at bed time!

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I have a PET scan at 10:00 today. I am worried and didn't sleep very well last night. I found a new lump under my chin last night while eating dinner. Pat could feel it too. It could just be tissue damage from the radiation. Anyway; I am concerned. I have been feeling as good as ever. I have gotten my strength back and have been working hard in the yard the last few days trying to get it ready for summer. Hopefully everything will be okay today. I will probably worry from now on every time I have a new ache or pain. I certainly hope not.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I will have a PET scan on Wednesday. This should tell me whether the cancer is gone or not. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

My favorite type of jokes are called groaners. I heard a good one the other day.

A woman dedicated her life to helping injured birds. Her husband was becoming upset with all of this attention paid to the birds. He came home one day to find an owl perched on his recliner and a mocking bird crapping all over the sofa. He stormed into the kitchen and found his wife trying to warm a small wren that had been found in the snow.
" I've had it!" He said. " I want a divorce!"
" Shhh!" His wife said. " Not in front of the chilled-wren!"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

There is nothing new regarding my cancer situation. I feel great. The only problems are the congestion in my larnyx, and the lack of taste. My next big event will be March 25th when I have another PET scan.
It is supposed to go to seventy degrees today. We bought some shrubs and crepe myrtles yesterday. We will plant them today. It just feels so good to be outside. We had a Carolina Wren build a nest under the cover of our propane bottle again this year. The tiny male has a really loud song for such a little bird and he flys around telling the world where his territory is. I got an email from a friend yesterday that had a map showing the migration of the Ruby Throated Hummingbird. They are already at the North Carolina/Virginia border. We will put up our feeders today. Anybody that feeds them is aware of how fascinating they are to watch. They fight over who owns the feeder, and chase one another all over the yard. Last year I actually watched as two of them locked feet and rolled around on the ground.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

Someone sent me the following email which attempts to explain our current financial crisis.

Wall Street 101Derivative markets .... an understandable explanation:Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).Word gets around about Heidi's drink now pay later marketing strategy and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar and soon she has the largest sale volume for any bar in Detroit .By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDSand PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on security markets worldwide.Naive investors don't really understand the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, their prices continuously climb, and the securities become the top-selling items for some of the nations leading brokerage houses.One day, although the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the bank (subsequently fired due his negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.Heidi demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Therefore, Heidi cannot fulfillher loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKIBOND drop in price by 90 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %. The decreased bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans.The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment extensions and having invested in the securities are faced with writing off her debt and losing over 80% on her bonds. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 50 workers.The bank and brokerage houses are saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock negotiations by leaders from both political parties.The funds required for this bailout are obtained by a tax levied on employed middle-class "non-drinkers."Finally an explanation I understand.....and that folks, is how it came down! Scanned by the Barracuda Spam Firewall at CPWS Broadband

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

Rain, rain, rain! I planted peas, radishes, and lettuce last Thursday. It has rained every day since then. I measured an inch and a half so far. I am pretty confident that everything will have to be replanted. The peas seeds were laying on top of the ground. The soil had been washed away. I poked them back down with a stick but I am pretty sure that they are water logged and therefore dead. It is almost to late to replant the peas. The sun is supposed to shine tomorrow. It will take sunshine and a brisk wind to have an effect.
I am sick of looking at the inside of this house! I spent too much time looking at it this winter while I was recovering. I want to be outside where the birds are singing their little hearts out. Cardinals, wrens, and Mocking birds seem to be everywhere. The Spring Peepers are singing too. Please.... I need to be outside!!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

My whole body is sore today! I did to much yard work yesterday. I have never been the kind of person who can go gently. I go full bore and then suffer the consequences. It is rainy and cold here today and will stay that way for the next four or five days. Ughh! I want to be outside. I am fed up with winter. The cold and drear affect me more after having spent three weeks in Florida.
I feel great. I still am having trouble with the congestion in my larnyx. I had some fried eggs with cinnamon toast for breakfast and could actually tell what I was eating. I could taste both. The flavor was very weak but recognizable. That gives me hope.
I wrote the following piece for our local paper. I don't know whether it will be published or not, but I thought that I would publish it here. A small part of the article is true.

My wife’s birthday is coming up next week. She asked me if I had gotten her a present yet. I said that I hadn’t. She showed me a flyer from Sears and said that there was a big sale on things for the home and that she would like some new every day silverware and dishes. Dollar signs began to run through my head. I somehow instinctively knew that this was gong to cost way more than I had intended to spend. I had been thinking that I might run to Peebles and see what they had on their sale rack in petites. New dish towels might also be nice. Maybe even a new mop. I knew that she would appreciate a good quality mop. She struggles so with the old one.
“What’s wrong with the silverware that we have dear?” I stupidly asked her.
“I mean the tines aren’t bent to badly on the forks, and I can straighten the bent ones in my vise!” The spoons don’t have holes in them yet! They still hold soup! The peas still stay on my knife!”
“ Look at them!” She stated. “They are horribly pitted and stained! They look worn!”
I refered her to the comments listed above. She scowled
“And what is wrong with the dishes sweety pie?” I stupidly asked her again.
“ They aren’t chipped! I don’t have to worry about cutting my tongue when I lick the plates and bowls!”
“Aren’t you sick of looking at the same design?” She asked. “You know that we have been using the same dishes for sixteen years?”
“Yes we have and that’s because we are very careful!” I answered.
Another scowl!
“You just don’t get it do you?” she stated.
She was right. I don’t get it, but then men never do seem to, “get it.” After all; Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, or Pluto, or somewhere way, way out there.
I know that my arguments are futile. I know that there will soon be shiny new silverware, and gleaming plates at our house. I know that this will happen, that is if I continue to care to eat.
And when all is said and done I know that I will truly enjoy the pleasurable feeling that one gets when inserting a shiny new knife full of peas in one’s mouth, especially when they are lifted from a sparkling new plate, and there will be no more little wounds on my lips from bent fork tines.
Happy birthday dear!
Amen
Tom Neiger

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I got at the yard work early this morning. I planted peas, radishes, and lettuce. I will till the rest of the garden tomorrow to get it ready for the next crops.
I decided to buy a new lawn tractor. My old Simplicity is starting to wear out after 18 years. I am afraid to count on it any more. It was in the shop for repairs a couple times over the last 2 years. I bought a new John Deere.
My upper body strength is beginnining to return. I worked in the garden for 3 hours, mowed the lawn, fertilized the shrubs, cut up a small holly, and did some raking today. I feel fine.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

An adendum to the previous post; I asked about cancer support groups today and was told that they have slowly disolved. People get what they want in the way of support through the internet. There is information galore, and also lots of chat rooms there.

oral cancer. My personal journey

I saw the ENT doctor today. I was concerned about the lump in my larnyx. I had been told that it was probably congestion caused by thickened fluids but wanted to be sure. As soon as I told him what the problem was he assured me that it wasn't anything to worry about, but he took a look anyway' He sprayed a novacain solution down a nostril and then ran a scope through my nose and down my throat. It was not an enjoyable experience. He said that everything was okay and that what I was experiencing was very normal. My oral secretions are thicker than other folks because of the radiation damage and the dry winter air has exacerbated the problem. In other words I have a giant, dried snot ball in my throat!! He told me that things would improve with summers heat and humidity. I was very relieved and very grateful.
My sister bought me a funny hat while I was in Florida. It is a visor with a full head of moused hair sticking out the top. It looks very real. I stopped at the radiation center today where I had been treated and wore this hat into the office. I reminded the nurses there that they had told me my hair might come back differently, and that I didn't like it and wanted to complain. They all got a laugh out of it. They are wonderful compassionate people there who deal with misery on a daily basis. I thought that they might enjoy a little levity and they did.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

Well duh!! I just had an idea ( they don't come as often as they used to) Why not go into Google and type, "Cancer support groups Gloucester, Va." I did that and sure enough there is a support group. I will call the phone number today

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I am very concerned about this lump that has developed in my larnyx. I am clearing my throat all day. The lump is worse in the morning and seems to get smaller as the day goes on. I have had this for about a month. I have an appointment with the ENT doctor tomorrow. Hopefully it is just congestion caused by thickened oral fluids and mucous.
I have been thinking that it might be benefic1al for cancer patients to have a support group. I know that I feel better when I talk to another cancer patient. I feel connected to them. There are probably support groups near the bigger cities, but there are none in the Gloucester, Mathews area that I am aware of. I will talk to the doctor about this tomorrow.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I worked in the yard today trying to catch up on the yard work after 3 weeks in Florida. There was certainly plenty to do. We had a severe storm while we were gone. The neighbor said that the winds were clocked at 60 MPH. A tall pine that was beside our driveway snapped off about 25 feet above the ground. It took out the pole with the night light that was on our neighbors property and then fell across his driveway. He had it cut up and removed before we got home. There was plenty of cleanup to do in the rest of the yard though. I found out that my upper body is very weak yet. My chain saw felt like it weighed 100 pounds. I worked from 9:30 this morning until 2:00 this afternoon and feel whipped. I guess that laying around for 4 1/2 months sapped my strength. I will have to go at it a little more slowly for a while. I am not used to that way of working. Usually I go at it full bore.
I will be working at the marina again this summer. I talked to my boss today. She said that she will need me for sure starting in May but that I could start coming in now and help clean the place up. I will consider starting next week. In the mean time there is plenty to do in my own yard. I bought seeds today and tilled a section of the garden. I will start building a fence tomorrow. The rabbits will get everything if I don't. The deer walked through my shrubbery by the front door and ate buds off of some of the azaleas. I told Pat that they may have to go. She said, "Yeah right! You are going to shoot a deer right in the middle of a subdivision?" I guess that I better not. They do taste so good though.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

Pat and I arrived home at 7:00 PM today. We could have been home earlier but we stopped at Medical College of Virginia to see a friend who had a severe motorcycle accident. Then we stopped and had dinner with Pat's mom at her house in Highland Springs. The temps all the way home were as warm if not warmer than some of the days in Florida. Three weeks of winter spent in Florida sure does get rid of the winter blahs!
I am still feeling very good. The congestion in my larnyx is worrying me though. I will make an appointment to see the Ear Nose and Throat doctor early in the week.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

We are on our way home from 3 weeks in Florida. We sure hated to lose that warmth and constant sunshine.
I got a lot of my strength back while in Florida. I rode my bicycle as much as 14 miles per day. My neck got a lot stronger. It was very weak at first, probably from the radiation.
I still have the congestion in my voice box. I will see the doctor when I get back. Hopefully it is no more than congestion caused by thickened oral secretions. I still have very little saliva and probably would have none if it wasn't for the medicine.
I still can taste very little. I can taste sweet and I can taste sour but even those things don't taste right. For example; I like Balsamic vinegar dressing. I can taste it but it surely doesn't taste as it should. I eat anyway. I start off each morning with my tube formula blended with honey, a banana and milk and drink it. Then I might have toast and jelly which has no flavor. The rest of the day I eat what everyone else eats but I don't snack because there isn't much food value in junk food and it doesn't taste right anyway, so why bother. I might have another shake sometime during the day also. This depends on how much food I can force down.
Anyway; I feel wonderful! I will have another PET scan on the 25th of March. Hopefully that will come back negative!!!