Wednesday, January 28, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I went to the dentist for my six month check up today. He had given me a prescription tooth paste just before my treatments began. He had told me that I would have to be very scrupulous regarding my dental care while I was undergoing treatment or I could develop major problems. Without saliva my teeth and gums would be suseptible to staph and other infections. I followed the regimen that he had prescribed for me pretty religiously, even when the chemo had sapped all of my strength.
He was impressed. He found nothing at all that concerned him and told me that I had made his day. I told him that he certainly had made my day.

I don't know yet what to say about the results of the hypnosis. I did eat a sweet potato with butter and salt and some dilled green beans last night. I can't say that they were enjoyable, but they weren't bad. I had a fried egg and a piece of toast for breakfast and a very small salad for lunch. None of this was intolerable, but it certainly was far from pleasant. I know that it is early and will see what develops. Believe me; I certainly want food to taste good.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I recieved a call from Cathy the dietician that works through the cancer center yesterday afternoon. She wanted to give me some information on some studies that have been done with cancer patients who have temporarily lost their sense of taste due to radiation or chemo. She stated that Zinc Sulphate has been proven to improve the sense of taste in a lot of people. I was glad ot get that news and will be purchasing some Zinc tomorrow when we go into Gloucester.
I also had my first appointment with the hypnotherapist today. She thinks that I may be an excellent candidate for hypnosis. We talked about why it doesn't work for some folks and she stated that a person really needs to want the change. Some smokers for example have a deep physicological dependence on cigarettes. Their conscious mind wants to quit but their subconcious mind doesn't. In my case, I really do want to get my sense of taste back. There is no physicological reason for me not to want food to be palatable.
She aked me a lot of questions about food two days ago. She used this info to prepare my session today.
My session began when I lay down on a massage table. She began by taking me through some deep breathing relaxation exercises. This took several minutes as she kept telling me that the relaxation was moving from my head to the bottom of my feet. Next, she had me go to some beautiful place in nature that I remembered. I chose a place along the Black River in Michigan where I camped when I was a boy. She had me visualize all of the wild life, and the beautiful scenery. She then told me that some sparkling golden stairs had appeared in front of me, and that I would be walking down these stairs one at a time. She said that I would be totally relaxed when I reached the bottom. She paused me on each step as she repeated to me that I was becoming more and more relaxed. When I reached the bottom stair she asked me to visualize a large table spread with all of the foods that I enjoyed. She asked me to sample each one and commented how enjoyable each item was. She told me that they would be enjoyable even if they didn't taste as I remembered them. We spent several minutes here before she brought me back by counting backward from five to one telling me that I would become more awake with each number. When she reached the number one she asked me to open my eyes. The session was over, but we talked for a while. She informed me that being hypnotized doesn't make a person unconscious and that I would remember everything. She stated that that wouldn't matter and that we were working on my subconscious mind. She told me that she was watching my eyes while I was hypnotized and that they showed her that I was responding. She also stated that it might take two or three sessions. My appointment was at 10:30 this morning and it is now 5:15. I haven't eaten anything yet. We have had too much to do today and haven't been home. I will try a sweet potato slathered in butter shortly and see how that tastes. The lady did inspire confidence enough that I will see her again. In the mean time we will see what hapens.

Monday, January 26, 2009

oral cancer, my personal journey

I have been feeling a little better each day. In fact, most days I feel as good as I have ever felt. I was experiencing slight nausea last week. I had noo idea why. My diet and everything else was the same. I attrbutted it to being just the way it is when recovering. The last few days I have felt great! I even went to the capitol on a school bus today with other teachers, parents, grandparents, and even a few students to make our voices heard concerning budget cuts for the school system. The hardest part of the whole trip was sitting in a Five Guys hamburger joint watching some friends scarf down some burgers and fries while I drank an Insure. That experience was down right painful. I can eat but food still has no flavor so why bother? I do eat a little every day, but mostly still use the tube. I have gotten to where I can taste toothpaste. Big Whoopppeee! Who wants to taste toothpaste?
I see a hypnotherapist tomorrow. Hopefully she can make me believe that eating is enjoyable. I don't expect her to make pizza taste like pizza. I just want her to convince ne that eating is a pleasureable experience. Hoefully she can help until my taste comes back.

Friday, January 23, 2009

oral cancer My personal journey

Yesterday I felt a little down. I guess that I was tired. I normally sleep well from bed time until about 3:00 AM. After that dry mouth wakes me up about every forty five minutes. I have a glass of water on the night stand and take a sip and then go back to sleep. It is that way until I get up at about eight. I didn't force myself to eat very much solid food yesterday. I was down enough that I didn't feel like fighting making myself force food down so I relied on the tube.
I am feeling stronger. I try to walk about a half a mile a day at a fairly brisk pace. Usually my legs feel a little rubbery afterward, but not yesterday. In fact, I walked farther yesterday than I have been walking.
My throat is mildly sore, but isn't to bad. Other than that I feel pretty good.
I Probably won't update this site on a daily basis. I don't want to blather. I will write every couple of days unless I really have something to say.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Oral cancer. My personal journey

I have been feeling much better lately. The nausea that I was suffering is almost nonexistent. I thought that the nausea may be caused by taking too much formula at one time. So I cut back to a can and a half at a feeding. I also have begun to eat more and to take fewer cans of formula throughout the day. Yesterday I had a can for breakfast along with eggs, cheese, and half and half. I had another can and a half of formula later and then ate stir fry for dinner, and had another can of formula before bed. I was taking eight cans a day and am trying to cut it down to four augmented by food.
My taste is changing a tiny bit. Stuff still doesn't taste good, but it tastes differntly than it did. Toothpaste now tastes slightly sweet where before it had no taste whatever. I pray that I will get my taste back soon but am not counting on it.
Yesterday I was thinking that it could be months before my taste returns and I got thinking about how long that would be and then I remembered that I can't live in the future. I can certainly make it through today though. I must live one day at a time.

Friday, January 16, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I felt nauseated for most of the day yesterday. I think that it was caused by the formula that I take through my tube. I have been taking two cans at a time, every few hours. There are 355 calories in each can and I need 2500 calories a day to maintain my weight. I took two cans at 8:30 AM and two more at noon. I started to feel badly after the noon feeding. I have been taking Prilosec every day also but haven't taken any of that in the last two days. Maybe that is the problem. I just don't know. Maybe that is just the way it's going to be for the next few weeks. Perhaps it's all just part of the treatment. Some days I feel wondefrul. Other days I feel like crap!
I said in a previous blog that I would include a summary of my entire treatment and will include that now.

ORAL CANCER. MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

I was diagnosed with cancer at the base of my tongue and in one lymph gland back in Oct. of this year. The treatment for this kind of cancer is thirty seven radiation treatments and three large doses of chemo spread over a seven week period. Treatment began on Nov. 4th. A mask was designed to fit my head. This mask allowed no room for movement and was attached securely to the treatment table. It is a claustrophobic experience at first. The machine that delivers the radiation passed in an arc over my head. It stopped in six different positions and the whole procedure took about thirty minutes. The nurses have a large selection of music and will play what ever kind of music is desired. This helped me relax.
I was told that my throat would possibly get too sore for me to swallow, and that my taste buds would be affected which would alter my taste. It was strongly suggested that I have a feeding tube placed in my stomach which I did. That procedure wasn’t much fun either.
The chemo was administered in three large doses. The first dose was given just before the first radiation treatment. Subsequent doses came at approx. two week intervals. The chemo hit me hard. Some programs administer the chemo A little each week and folks don’t get sick from it. My doctor said that they have found that the best thing for my type and location of cancer was three large doses spread evenly over the course of the radiation treatments. The first chemo treatment made me very sick for about five days. The second round made me sick for about eight days. I am still not completely over the lingering nausea from the last treatment and the residual effects of the radiation and it has been about eighteen days.
The complications caused by all of this were annoying and in some cases severe. I was told that I must be scrupulous with my dental care. I would have little to no saliva to protect my teeth. My saliva glands would be knocked out of condition for several weeks and one of them may not come back at all. I would have to brush and floss often and would need to brush my teeth with a special fortified tooth paste each night before bed, after which I could not rinse. This was uncomfortable. My ears are plugged with fluid. I am taking steroids at this time for this condition. They are not working. I will have to have tubes put in each ear. Constipation was severe and drastic methods had to be used. Food tastes awful. With no taste buds one would think that there would be no taste, but that is not the case. Eating presents a real challenge. Most of my feeding is done through the stomach tube. I have become proficient at doing it myself. I need 2500 calories a day to maintain my weight. I am struggling to do that. The chemo doctor said that the average weight loss for someone with my type of cancer was forty pounds. That scared me and I have held my loss to about eight pounds. I have lost a few more pounds over the last few days because I have gotten behind on my feedings. Once I do that it is hard to catch up. I will be more diligent from now on.
The last radiation treatment was administered on Dec 24th. The effects from the chemo started to wear off on the second or third of Jan. I am feeling better as time moves on. I want to get back to my normal life but don’t have the energy to do a lot yet. Getting over this is not like getting over the flu where you get better each day. It is much slower.
Actually, according to my doctors, I did extremely well. They joked about making me their poster child. The radiation makes some folks throats so sore that morphine must be used. My throat was treatable with Motrin on most occasions. I did have to use Vicodin on a few occasions. Some folks lose their ability to swallow and have to go through therapy to relearn how. I did not. Some folks lose lots of weight.( the avg. weight loss is forty pounds as I said earlier.) I lost eight pounds. The doctors said that It was because of my positive attitude. That may have contributed but I say that it was because of all of the caring people who were praying for me. I truly believe that prayer made the real difference
Anyway, I am recovering. I am looking forward to a normal life again. I just need patience which I have always had in very limited supply.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

oral cancer, My personal journey

Before I started my treatmentI had the oppurtunity to talk to another person who had gone through exactly the same cancer treatment that I went through. He told me that the treatment was awful, but that I would get through it and that it would be just a blip on the radar shortly. He was right. I never thought that I would make it through. The treatments were scary and made me very sick, but they are over for the most part, and the whole experience was just a blip. I will be adding a synopsis of what I experienced. If any readers of my blog are suffering with cancer and wish to talk about their situation my email address is tneiger@inna.net. I would be glad to offer all of the support that I can.

ORAL CANCER. MY PERSONAL JOURNEY SYNOPSIS

I was diagnosed with cancer at the base of my tongue and in one lymph gland back in Oct. of this year. The doctors told me that this cancer was most probably caused by the combination of cigarettes and alcohol even though I quit smoking twenty one years ago and quit drinking almost seven years ago. The treatment for this kind of cancer is thirty seven radiation treatments and three large doses of chemo spread over a seven week period. Treatment began on Nov. 4th. A mask was designed to fit my head. This mask allowed no room for movement and was attached securely to the treatment table. It is a claustrophobic experience at first. The machine that delivers the radiation passed in an arc over my head. It stopped in six different positions and the whole procedure took about thirty minutes. I received a treatment every week day for seven weeks.
I was told that my throat would possibly get too sore for me to swallow, and that my taste buds would be affected which would alter my taste. It was strongly suggested that I have a feeding tube placed in my stomach which I did. That procedure wasn’t much fun either. Although now I simply consider it a temporary part of my body.
The chemo was administered in three large doses. The first dose was given just before the first radiation treatment. Subsequent doses came at approx. two week intervals. The chemo hit me hard. Some programs administer the chemo A little each week and folks don’t get sick from it. My doctor said that they have found that the best thing for my type and location of cancer was three large doses spread evenly over the course of the radiation treatments. The first chemo treatment made me very sick for about five days. The second round made me sick for about eight days. I am still not completely over the lingering nausea from the last treatment and the residual effects of the radiation and it has been about eighteen days.
The complications caused by all of this were annoying and in some cases severe. I was told that I must be scrupulous with my dental care. I would have little to no saliva to protect my teeth. My saliva glands would be knocked out of condition for several weeks and one of them may not come back at all. I would have to brush and floss often and would need to brush my teeth with a special fortified tooth paste each night before bed, after which I could not rinse. This was uncomfortable. My sleep was fitful. I spent half of most nights wrapped in a blanket in my recliner. My ears are plugged with fluid. I am taking steroids at this time for this condition. They are not working. I will have to have tubes put in each ear. Constipation was severe and drastic methods had to be used. Food still tastes awful. With no taste buds one would think that there would be no taste, but that is not the case. Eating presents a real challenge. Most of my feeding is done through the stomach tube. I have become proficient at doing it myself. I need 2500 calories a day to maintain my weight. I am struggling to do that. The chemo doctor said that the average weight loss for someone with my type of cancer was forty pounds. (That scared me, as I only weiged 175) and I have held my loss to about eight pounds. I have lost a few more pounds over the last few days because I have gotten behind on my feedings. Once I do that it is hard to catch up. I will be more diligent from now on.
The last radiation treatment was administered on Dec 24th. The effects from the chemo started to wear off on the 5th or 6th of Jan. I am feeling better as time moves on. I want to get back to my normal life but don’t have the energy to do a lot yet. Getting over this is not like getting over the flu where you get better each day. It is much slower.
Actually, according to my doctors, I did extremely well. They joked about making me their poster child. The radiation makes some folks throats so sore that morphine must be used. My throat was treatable with Motrin on most occasions. I did have to use Vicoden on a few occasions. Some folks lose their ability to swallow and have to go through therapy to relearn how. I did not. Some folks lose lots of weight.( the avg. weight loss is forty pounds as I said earlier.) I lost eight pounds. The doctors said that my success was because of my positive attitude. That may have contributed but I say that it was because of all of the caring people who were praying for me. I truly believe that prayer made the real difference.
Anyway, I am recovering. I am looking forward to a normal life again. I just need patience which I have always had in very limited supply.
I have a blog site that I have devoted to my cancer treatment. I tried to update it daily. However my computer crashed shortly after the third round of chemo and I was to sick to do anything about it for several days. I have a new computer now and have tried to update the site on a daily basis. The updates may not come as frquently as there may not be much to report. Anyway...So far so good.

Monday, January 12, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I feel great today! I attended church yesterday and was asked to help usher as one of the ushers didn't show up. It felt really good to be involved again. All of the well wishers at church had a very positive effect on me. I felt really good yesterday also. Feeling good really feels good after all of thse weeks of feeling rotten! We attended a concert during the afternoon and then went to Subway with friends to get a sandwich. I didn't even try to eat. I waited until I got home to the comfort of my tube. :?)
I had an appointment with my chemo doctor today. My blood pressure was excellent and my blood tests showed that I was pretty close to normal in all areas. The doctor said that I can do what ever I want. My body will tell me when I am over doing it.
We stopped in to say hello to the ladies in radiation also. Everyone was wonderful. They all thought that I looked great which made me feel good.
The doctor said that I might still have a day or two where I just don't feel really good. She said that was all part of it.
My next hurdle will be somewhere around Mar 15 when I will have another PET scan which will tell the docs wheter they got it all or whether it may have gone somewhere else. I will certainly try to live my policy of one day at atime between now and then.
We will leave for three weeks in Fla somewhere around the 12th of Feb. The thought of warm breezes and shorts are filling my thoughts. I can't wait! Today I feel joy!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I was getting undressed last night and my wife commented that she thought that I was losing weight. This caused me some concern. I weighed myself this morning and found that I have lost weight. The scales showed 165 pounds. Approximately a week ago I believe that I weighed 171. I have been shooting for 2500 calories a day. Supposedly this is what a man of my age and build requires to maintain weight. There have been days when I haven't made that amount because I get behind on my feeding schedule and then it is hard to catch up again. Of course the other thing that I think about is whether the cancer has spread to someplace else. I took two cans of formula through my tube as soon as I got up this morning and will try to feed every two and a half hours. I will shoot for 3000 calories for a few days and watch the scales. I have an appointment with the chemo doc on Monday. I know in my heart that I would not lose weight if food tasted like it was supposed to. I choke down what ever I do take by mouth so therefore don't eat a lot. I rely on the tube.

Friday, January 09, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

We were heading for the Outer Banks this afternoon but only got about an hour down the road when I started to feel weak. We decided that it was best if we came home. What a bummer! So here I am, staring at the walls again.
I just finished reading an excellent book titled American Buffalo, by Steven Rinella. Steven is a hunter as well as a very capable writer. He was selected , by lottery to hunt buffalo in Alaska. The book alternates chapters. One chapter may start out talking about preperations for his hunt. The next chapter talks about the history of the buffalo from prehistoric times until the present, and then back to another stage of his hunt. He got some of his history from the book Oregon Trail written by Francis Parkman in the late eighteen hundreds. He made this book sound fascinating. It was published in it's present form in the nineteen sixties. Fortunately our town library had the book and I began reading it just a short time ago. I have always bee intrigued with what it must have been like back in the days of the western migration with indians, buffalo, wagon trains, etc. This book promises to be a good read in that regard.

oral cancer, my personal journey

I am feeling a little down today. I expect to feel a signifacant difference in how I feel every day but that obviously isn"t how it works. Someone who is getting over the flu feels remarkably better each day. It isn't working that way with me. I am feeling better but am not feeling better quickly enough for me. I am impatient for sure. I have also seen the inside of this house to much. I told my wife that I need to get out of here and go someplace. She said, "let's go to the Outer Banks. We can leave in an hour." So that's what we will do. It will be hard packing tube formula and medicines, and very inconvienient with eating, but we can do it. Perhaps the wind swept beaches of the outer banks will offer some tranquility. Nature has always given me answers when I am down. We will leave for Fla. in mid Feb. Man I am looking forward to warm weather and shorts!
I talked to a friend re my taste problem. I told him that acupuncture was recommended as a possibe treatment. He told me that he is a firm believer. He had shoulder pain and was treated by a doc for over a year with no results. He was told that he was going to have to live with the pain. He went to an acupunturist and was cured after two treatments. Anything is worth a try.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I felt really good this morning. I received my new combination printer, scanner, copier late last evening and decided to install it this morning. I usually dread this kind of thing because invariabally something doesn't work. This time everything went smoothly. I called my brother-in-law to see if he wanted to go on a short hike through a nature reserve that is near us. He wanted to go so we went on a forty five minute hike. I was tired when we got done. I am still a little weak. My throat is getting a little better every day.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

oral cancer. My personal journey

I get a free hour long full body massage once a month through my cancer center. Today was the day. Wow! the lady has magic in her fingers and hands. They used a wheelbarrow to take me to the car afterward. Then they poured me into the trunk. They tucked my tongue back in at the last minute so that they didn't close the lid on it. I was relaxed to say the least.
I asked my therapist if she knew any hypno-therapists. I told her about my sense of taste and wanted to know whether a hypno-therapist might help. She does in fact know one and will call me on Monday with the info. She also suggested acupuncture which I hadn't considered.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

oral cancer, my personal journey

A brief note: My dinner tonight was baked beans pureed with green beans, and half and half. It should certainly be an explosive evening! I am certainly glad that I have no sense of smell. I predict that she will not make this recipe again for me!!! What was she thinking? :?)

oral cancer, my personal journey

I don't feel very good again today. I never know what I will feel like on a given day. I was told that the chemo has a cumulative effect. I felt badly for five days after the first round of chemo. I felt badly for eight days after the second round and it has now been twenty two days since the last round and I am still not completely back on my feet. Of course the effects from the radiation are still causing some of the way that I feel also. I am not a person who sits around. I am ready to get back to normal again.
A friend who was a counselor for many years recommended a hypno-therapist that she had dealt with over the years. She talked to him about the possibility of using hypnosis to restore some sense of taste. My thoughts are that my brain remembers what things taste like and that possibily hypnosis might trick it into producing a taste when I eat something, or at least fool me into thinking things don't taste as badly as they do. He said that he knew of no studies that had been done on that subject and said for me to wait three months to see what happens and if nothing changes call him and he would be interested in experimenting. He told my friend that his wife had similar treatments and that it took ten months for her taste to return.
I don't want to wait that long. I want this tube out of my stomach and am afraid that I won't be able to force enough food past my gag reflex. I am still taking five cans of supplement through my tube each day. I must get it lower. I had scrambled eggs blended with cheese and yogurt for breakfast along with one can of supplement through the tube. Last night's dinner was pureed ham blended with baked potato, green beans and half and half. My wife and I have talked it over and think that we should probably cook dinner for two just as we used to do but run mine through the food processor. Yum! Don't that just sound wunnerful?
The computer repairman is coming out later today. He said that my old computer is shot, but he was able to save all of my data which was a relief. He is going to help me install some things on my machine today.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Oral cancer, My personal journey

Today is Monday and I have just returned from Best Buy in Newport News. I was told on Saturday that my computer was ready to go, but it wasn't. I have dial up and there was no modem. Best Buy gave me one for free which was nice of them.
I am feeling rough today. I don't know why. I guess that I will be experiencing these ups and downs for a while yet. I never know from one day to the next how I will feel. My wife is in Richmond today so I had to feed myself through the tube. I thought that I would make a mess but didn't. I was down right proud! I feel like a nap and am going to take one now.

oral cancer. My personal journey

I Purchased my new computer today (Saturday) and have spent the last 3 hours setting it up. It ain't gramma's computer that's for sure!!! This thing has 4gb of memory and a 21 inch flat screen. The case is about 1/4 the size of my other computer and the computer is at least 3 times as fast as the old one. It is so quiet. The other computer sounded like it was getting ready to escape earth's orbit. I spent an hour trying to find microsoft word pad, and finally stumbled across it moments ago.
Anyway; I am starting to turn the corner. I feel a little better each day. I actually felt a twinge of joy yesterday. I have been through more crap than I thought I could stand. Every aspect of my life was changed in some way for several weeks. Loss of taste, Taking all my food through a tube in my stomach, The restrictions on life caused by having a tube feeding every 2 and 1/2 hours. severe, severe constipation, sickness from the chemo, waking up in the middle of the night to take medicine, brushing my teeth each night with fortified tooth paste and not being able to rinse, keeping track of an endless list of medicines to take each day, a very sore throat, partial loss of hearing from fluid caused by the radiation, heavy ringing in my ears,
not having enough energy to do much more than sit in a chair and stare at the tv., dealing with thrush all through my mouth caused by the chemo, sleeplessness, etc. I am not complaining. My symptoms were a great deal less than others who have gone through the same treatment. I told the doctor yesterday that I believe that prayer was the difference. There were a lot of very caring people praying for me. He told me that my attitude also made a significant difference. I did try to keep my spirits up, and my daily blogging helped a lot also. I was really bummed out when my computer crashed at my lowest point. I simply did not have the energy to do anything about it at the time.
My next doctor's apoointment is Feb 4th. I am being set up for a PET scan on or about the 15th March. That will tell us wheter we can breath easy again. Until that time it will be one day at a time, . With god's help and strength, My wife's unbelievable dedication and love, and all of the concerned people praying and helping out I have made it this far and I am very grateful!

oral cancer. My personal journey

I Purchased my new computer today (Saturday) and have spent the last 3 hours setting it up. It ain't gramma's computer that's for sure!!! This thing has 4gb of memory and a 21 inch flat screen. The case is about 1/4 the size of my other computer and the computer is at least 3 times as fast as the old one. It is so quiet. The other computer sounded like it was getting ready to escape earth's orbit. I spent an hour trying to find microsoft word pad, and finally stumbled across it moments ago.
Anyway; I am starting to turn the corner. I feel a little better each day. I actually felt a twinge of joy yesterday. I have been through more crap than I thought I could stand. Every aspect of my life was changed in some way for several weeks. Loss of taste, Taking all my food through a tube in my stomach, The restrictions on life caused by having a tube feeding every 2 and 1/2 hours. severe, severe constipation, sickness from the chemo, waking up in the middle of the night to take medicine, brushing my teeth each night with fortified tooth paste and not being able to rinse, keeping track of an endless list of medicines to take each day, a very sore throat, partial loss of hearing from fluid caused by the radiation, heavy ringing in my ears,
not having enough energy to do much more than sit in a chair and stare at the tv., dealing with thrush all through my mouth caused by the chemo, sleeplessness, etc. I am not complaining. My symptoms were a great deal less than others who have gone through the same treatment. I told the doctor yesterday that I believe that prayer was the difference. There were a lot of very caring people praying for me. He told me that my attitude also made a significant difference. I did try to keep my spirits up, and my daily blogging helped a lot also. I was really bummed out when my computer crashed at my lowest point. I simply did not have the energy to do anything about it at the time.
My next doctor's apoointment is Feb 4th. I am being set up for a PET scan on or about the 15th March. That will tell us wheter we can breath easy again. Until that time it will be one day at a time, . With god's help and strength, My wife's unbelievable dedication and love, and all of the concerned people praying and helping out I have made it this far and I am very grateful!